an overdue update

I have slowed down on the blogging haven't I? I did let Kennon add some music the other day to the blog though. But the song was only to annoy Brent and bring back some awful memories of singing with me on the cruise last spring.

I have figured out why I've been a lousy blogger lately and now that I've pinpointed it I realize it's no good and I need to do something about it.

Brent is trudging through his final year at the dental school. It has been way harder than anyone warned us it would be. He is in clinic from 9 -4 every day then tack on a class before that and a class afterward and it is a pretty full day. He has to set up and confirm all his appointments so he usually has calls to make when he gets home, along with the studying for tests and the NERB he's taking in December (North Easter Regional Board Exam that will determine if it really is our last year. )

So we haven't exactly made it to the finish line yet but for me everything has already changed. I feel like I have lived the last three years here to the fullest. We didn't have to love everything about the the city, our house, the neighborHOOD. .. whatever because it was all going to pass so quickly and then real life would begin again. So we have just lived. Without looking forward much or back. It's the best way to live really. It was like every thing that happened good or bad was just an experience that we would take with us wherever we went and be better because of it.

This is no longer the case. My mind is now consumed with the future. Whenever I wake up it's probably the first thing I think of. Where are we going to go, How much money are we going to make, Are we going to go somewhere and then change our mind? I am Brent's full time research assistant. Every night when Brent comes in exhausted and ready to just fall into bed, I give him a list of places he needs to apply to and cities I want him to check out with me online.

So I am not really doing much real living lately. Just planning. So that's exactly why I haven't been blogging. And so I realize that I am not making the memories lately. I am not having them nor am I blogging about them because I am focused on the future, not here and now. Don't know how I am going to fix this, but at least I am aware now and can start to try.

First, I can blog.

Let's start with sweet little sick Caroline. She is home today from school watching Bob the builder with Marcus right now. She's been sick since Friday running a fever, laying around, coughing, the runs. . . she may have the swine flu. Is it normal to think your child might die every time they have the flu? I just really hate my kids being sick. And it's not because of how much more work they suddenly become, since you are suddenly a slave night and day. Caroline has been keeping a bell next to her that she rings when she needs something. A couple nights ago I woke from a dream after slowing becoming aware of her bell. She was carrying it up the stairs ringing it the whole way. Who knows how long she rang it next to her bed before going for a walk?

The reality is I actually like the slave work because it forces me to remember my real job around here and let the housework go for a while and just hold my kids. So it just comes down to the fact that I get really scared when they start going downhill. I am constantly thinking that sometimes kids die from these things and what if it's my child?

So I am working hard trying to get her better, and wondering who might be next. Please don't be Marcus.

Marcus right now is really into singing. His sisters just love it. He carries around "WEE SING" books and is making all of us, but especially Savannah who is his new best friend, sing them to him all day long. Now he has quite a repertoire of songs he can sing for you. I like his singing immensely but his demands are driving me crazy because I am sick of getting smacked with books until I give in and sing with him.

I finally realized that a CD player could do my job for me and since then I have had some pretty good breaks while he sits mesmerized listening to his songs.

I keep telling Brent someone better start playing ball with this kid. He is being raised by girls and it is really starting to show.

He finally has started staying in his bed all night long instead of sleeping next to the door, But it's so pitch black in there in his closet that he has a hard time keeping track of his blanket a.k.a. "hippo deedee". Last night at least 4 times he woke me up hollering "MOOOOM!" I only have to go in and wrap him up again and he's fine till the next time he rolls over and loses the hippo deedee again. I can always go back to sleep within 2 seconds since I am so talented but I still think maybe it's time for a small night light. Brent usually never hears a thing. The bells or the "MOOOOOM's". Which is the goal since once he's awake he might as well get up because he usually can't go back to sleep.

Saturday night Brent came home from taking a very important 4th year all day exam. Something called a Practical, I believe. I left sick Caroline and Marcus with him and took the older three girls to the mall. Kennon has been begging, pleading, nagging, crying you name it she just really was itching to go the the mall for weeks now. The main reason is that she had saved enough money ($8.50) to buy some "Attitude Glasses" at Claire's. This reminds me that we better get a picture of them. She really has accessorized the best she can except for two things- earrings and eye wear, even though she asks to pierce her ears almost everyday and once purposely failed an eye exam at a Dr's appointment hoping that she would get glasses.

So these imitation ones were perfect for her. They look like the real thing but are only available for girls with attitude. And guts. She wore them to church Sunday. She looks pretty cute in them and definitely looks the part way more when she goes to the basement to play teacher. We also bought her some skinny jeans in a store that I used to shop at when I was a teen. 5.7.9. is still around. I squeezed into a 9 in the dressing room hoping to find something to wear with the boots Brent got me last Christmas. They fit. . . well sort of. Camille told me, "Mom they make your bum look so big!"

Kennon on the other hand only a few inches shorter than me looked great in her size 1 so we bought her a pair. Camille and Savannah were envious, but I reminded them that they would each have their turn with the jeans in a few years. Hopefully skinny jeans are still the rage in 2013 when the style finally catches up to Camille.

Camille was intent on spending money on something. I kept talking her out of it. Finally she saw a change machine and asked me if she could change her money. Thinking she was going to put a dollar in, and unable to convince her that a dollar was better than quarters, I gave in and let her make the exchange. I was pretty surprised when the quarters just kept coming down. After first making sure we weren't playing the slot machines, I realized that she had put a five instead of a one in the machine. This may not be a lot but I was sure that 20 quarters would burn a way bigger hole in her pocket than a five dollar bill. And sure enough now that she had TONS of money to spend, the first thing she did was run over to buy some cotton candy by the carousel. The vendor turned her away though saying, "Sorry I only accept dollars -No coins."

Her sisters and I had a great time laughing about that one. And Camille is pretty good at recognizing a funny situation and is famous for saying "I am definitely going to blog about that". She said that after this experience. We don't know if she is kidding or just trying to be cool like Kennon and I. After hearing about all the blogging she was going to be doing, I finally let her get on a private blog that I keep for her. Within five minutes she had erased all the pictures I had posted so that was the end of that.

Savannah has been busy planning an UNBirthday party for Camille. Once upon a time I was more than happy to plan big birthday parties. I remember having a huge blowout when Kennon turned 4. I strung up lights, made a castle cake, had family fun magazine refreshments, a craft, treasure hunt, and invited every child between the ages of 2-5 we knew.

But now 4 kids later I am tired and have developed an aversion to birthday parties. I love birthdays, just not the parties. I hate the goodie bags, hate the load of presents we have to give or recieve, and mostly I just hate that it ruins the fun family stuff I like to do for birthdays. So I came up with a new idea. Everyone gets to have a party every year and invite all their friends. But it is an UNBirthday party meaning it's at a different time of year than your birthday. We just play, eat, even have cake, but there is no expectation of keeping up with the last birthday party and definitely no presents. I don't even have to spend a lot of money because . . . it's not like it's their birthday or anything.

Savannah asked me if she could plan Camille's and I can't wait to show you what she came up with. She has the decorations made, party favors assembled, games planned . . she is awesome! We had to reschedule the party from yesterday since Caroline was sick. Just more time for Savannah to work on it and make it bigger and better. I have done nothing but buy the stuff that Savannah told me to buy and it's been less than $20 for food and everything. She is quite resourceful and I am already planning on her being the wedding planner for all these girls in years to come.

One more picture that I need to take and this one is also of an accessory around our house. It is worn at the dinner table, at the computer, and definitely while driving his family around. Brent and his ear muffs. He decided that the ear plugs weren't sufficient, and wearing both could block out so much more noise. He wore them constantly on our road trip to RI. I am fine with it if it. We are all happy when Dad has his ear muffs on.