I have been letting a few blog posts pile up here and suddenly I feel this urgency to get them all down, before I have ZERO time to do so. I don't have time to edit or write fancy so it may come across a bit jumbled.


Here's post # ONE
As of tomorrow I will be a working mother. For a short six weeks, while Brent's assistant takes her maternity leave, but right now those weeks seem like an eternity. I am so excited to have my chance to be with my husband. . . All Day Long. .. Right By His Side. . and also become more involved with the business. BUT. 

At the same time I just keep thinking of my two year old son who I won't be with all day long and it makes me want to cry. We have been so spoiled, Marcus and I. I have always been a spoiled stay at home mom.  But both Brent and I feel like this is a good time for me to learn the workings of the office so I can be be capable of filling in for someone who is sick, or having babies I guess. Last week his assistant went home sick unexpectedly. I thought maybe this was it, she was going into labor. We still hadn't worked out a replacement and Brent was a bit panicky. I found a sitter for Marcus and came in for the day. Brent introduced me like he usually does if I am in the office while he is seeing a patient, as his "cleaning lady". I had no prior experience and so I had a crash course in dental assisting in the form of on the job training. Obviously, I was terrible and never had anything ready when he needed, nor could I even identify the instrument that he needed in time to reach for it before he ended up deciding he'd do it himself. But he was still happy to have someone by his side, if no other reason than to have the "cleaning lady" there full time I guess. He told one patient I was his wife and apologized for my clumsiness, saying "Well, she's better than nothing." Which he sincerely meant as a compliment but as you can imagine the other two people in the room didn't see it that way.
Just now I finally hired a babysitter though and am jumping in making a commitment to give this a go. I hope the Casper's survive the next six weeks. I can't even imagine what a 32 hour work week is going to do to my perfect laundry record. Things don't stack up in my laundry room. It is one of my talents.


POST #2 Let's move on to Marcus. Speaking of laundry he comes to mind. The last time we stayed in a hotel, I lost our bag of laundry. I had looked everywhere, probably spent an accumulative hour looking for a bag of socks and panties and finally gave up and went to the car leaving Brent for the final look around. He's much more thorough. He found the laundry. It was in the freezer. I never would've thought to check in there.
The great thing is the more mischievous he is the more I just love him to death. Even though I am cursing while I clean up his mess I am laughing thinking, "Wow, I really do have a son now don't I?" The other day he was completely black head to toe. I followed the soot back to our upstairs fireplace. The one we've only lit once since moving here because Brent doesn't believe in fireplaces unless it's a wood stove because the other kind "don't put out heat, just suck it up. He made an exception for Christmas Eve and so it was full of ash. Marcus had climbed in apparently. And brought his books and his stuffed animals. The good thing about my son is that he learned his lesson. After seeing a black elephant and dirty books he will never have a playhouse in the fireplace again. I am sure that he will come up with something else equal though. See this is why I love boys. Girls don't climb in fireplaces.


POST #3 Caroline wears a snowsuit to school everyday. It's one of those bib ones that has gone through four kids. She looks like enormous in it. It's hideous. But she has to wear a snowsuit for everyone of the three recesses a day so she just puts it on in the morning and takes it off at night. I hardly even have time to wash it so it also usually filthy. You don't know how hard it is to send her off everyday in that. I guess I need to stop buying her clothes and just get her a wardrobe of snowsuits.
Caroline also sleeps walk. I am a very light sleeper. Mother's have to be. Every night lately I wake up to the sound of running down the hall. I try to ignore it for awhile but it sounds so frantic so I get up and sure enough there is Caroline racing back and down the hall around the kitchen, into the living room. Her eyes are always wide open and she looks so confused. I have tried repeatedly to try to get her to say something to me but she is clearly not awake.  She can't respond in anyway. She always needs to go to the bathroom and it's a mad dash to get her into there and seated before she let's loose. After that I put her back into bed. She remembers nothing in the morning. I would be scared to leave her at someones house over night. Who knows where she might end up if her mother didn't always wake up and bring her back to bed. Caroline said the cutest thing to Marcus today after I put his new church sport coat on. He was wearing a white shirt and tie. . . and a jacket for the first time and Caroline looked at him and said, "Marcus you look like the littlest man I have ever seen."


 POST# 3 This is left over from our trip to Buffalo. Camille was the happiest one to go, because she has never forgotten about the best friend she left behind. So we dropped her off early the first morning so she could stay while we went to the funeral. Camille and I stood shivering outside her door in deep snow. Camille of course was not wearing a coat or boots. She would rather be cold than change a perfect outfit. When Sara opened up Camille burst out with a scream and grabbed her friend to give her a hug which surprisingly ended up in a kiss. Camille was so happy she momentarily lost her senses and gave her a kiss. She suddenly jumped back embarrassed and said,"I can't believe I just kissed you." Neither could her sisters who saw the kiss from the car. But that is so Camille. She is a lover and hugger and even a kisser. So watch out best friends!


POST #4 Now Savannah is hard to write about because she would prefer that no one says anything about her at all and often edits out the stuff I do say about her. I think she would let me tell you all that she had adjusted 100% to her new life/new school. She spends most of her time now downloading songs and blasting them from our computer, unfortunately teaching Marcus all the wrong kinds of music. Nothing bad mind you but lets just say he knows all the words to the gummy bear song and loves to preform it for anyone who asks complete with as he would call it, "the bum part". Just look up gummy bear song on you tube and you can see what I am talking about. Now that's not Savannah's favorite song though. She just plays that because Marcus likes it so much. He also knows her favorites and sings verses like, "daisy dukes, bikinis on top" though that song has been banned in our house for months. A two year old never forgets.


POST #5 Kennon Is officially one week away from being a teenager. Last night she uttered some infamous words that we will haunt her with for the rest of her life. We were in the car on the way to Chuck E Cheese. We only go once every couple years and decided that she also would be going along only because it was a family thing and she needed to get out of her room and quit hiding out. Who knows what we were discussing but it might've been, about how thrilled she was to spend the next two hours with us at Chuck E Cheese of all places. So she said, and this wasn't delivered with sarcasm, it was for real, "Don't you guys know by now - I don't like my family."
It was pretty silent after that. We were all feeling like we had completely failed and that things couldn't be much worse, but a couple hours later we were all joking about it and decided for her that she truly can't help liking us after all. I think it's just really hard to be the first one to turn 13 in the house. I hear things get better about 15 and I am really counting on that.




And Finally. . . Today we all had a surprise. Brent and I had an early morning interview with a member of the stake presidency. As a Mormon this is never a welcome request. It's never to make your life easier. It's always about asking you to do more, and grow more and yes definitely receive blessings but aren't we all just happy coasting along while we can? But among mormons we all have to take a turn. No one gets paid and everyone needs a break so we knew we couldn't escape responsibility forever.  So we have been stewing over this future interview for the last two weeks knowing that one of the "Brents" was moving out of our bishopric. We have Bishop Brent and 2nd counselor Brent. Well, sure enough the bishop was intent on keeping it with the Brents and now My Brent is his new 2nd counselor. Did you follow that? 

It actually was a pretty confusing sustaining. From the pulpit the stake presidency member asked if we would all like to sustain Brent W. CARTER as second counselor to which the congregation all hesitantly raised their hands of approval all wondering who in the heck this Br. Carter was. Then later he tried to fix his error but this time Brent was sustained as BRUCE W. Casper. Our kids didn't even notice the sustaining because as typical they weren't tuned into the meeting and didn't hear anyone or anything that would pull them out of their own little worlds and it wasn't until their Dad left our row to join the bishopric up on the stand that all the kids starting hollering, "Where's Dad going? What just happened?"
Brent would've loved to put this off for the rest of his life but it looks like he finally has to grow up and be in a bishopric. I am proud of him that he is willing to serve and that we are here and able to. I will miss him on Sundays but then at least I won't be just be running around wondering what the heck my husband is doing while I get everyone ready and out the door. Maybe it's for the best.

Hoping to adopt

Several months ago I posted my first ever button on my blog. It's right there on the left.

 

Rachel and Ryan are the best of the best. I met Rachel four years ago in Buffalo when they moved there for her husband to attend dental school. I was serving as the president of our ward relief society, which is a service organization of women in our church. She immediately came in and made a huge difference. Visiting housebound women and then calling me to tell me how they were doing. Picking up a Deborah every Sunday who had suffered a stroke and couldn't drive but was recently baptized and wanted to be at church. She was every president's dream visiting teacher (yeah, it's a mormon word. It means she drives around visiting and teaching assigned women in their home on a monthly basis.) She became these women's friend. 

She also quickly became mine and was always the one teaching me. One thing I remember about her is she is always telling me she loves my big crazy family and wants to have one just like it someday.

Rachel is a high school English teacher and Ryan is a few months shy of being a real dentist. They are in love. They have fun together everyday, despite the fact that they have a deep sorrow as they continue to wait to become parents. But together they are a rock. Full of patience and faith that someday they will be parents. They are just waiting and waiting for someone to choose them. I would like to vouch for these people and their worthiness to raise awesome children.  If you know of anyone who is looking for adoptive parents to provide a fun. . . loving. . .  exciting. . . educational. . .  and faith filled home for their child - Please tell them about Rachel and Ryan. These people need to be parenting! Read their blog and I know you will agree.    The blog:   fyi on Rach and Ry

                         To view their adoption profile go Here.   

                                            Spread the word.

Visiting our past

We spent about 36 hours in Buffalo over the weekend for a short vacation. And we had more fun than we have in a lifetime back here in New England. It was perfect! Exactly like I remember. Cold. Blowing Snow. Gray skies. Cop car in front of our old place.


Good old Richard lives next door. He was out firing up his old rusty blue van (the one that I crossed my fingers wouldn't be there every time we showed the house.) He barely recognized us through the snow. He now has one tooth left on the top of his mouth. He told us that he was getting them all out the next month. They were going to fix them but it would cost him $7,000. But as he pointed out, "I can buy a new car with that!" And I guess in order priority his teeth are very last on the list.


The cops were out talking to the new owner of our home. Someone threw a cinder block through her car window the night before and they were out checking out the damage and filing a report.  We thought it would be better not to say hi, so we snapped a quick picture and drove on out of there. 

Now I am not glorying here too much in any one's pain and anguish. It's just that. . . Could it be any more Buffalo than that? At least the Buffalo we remember. And the thing is those are the fondest memories in the world.  


We were in town not only to see the old place, but to attend the memorial service of Susan Dayton who lost her life to cancer at 59. She and her husband were one of the first people to welcome us to Buffalo and tell us how much we were going to love it there. 

I have been sitting here about 20 minutes now writing and rewriting something short that I could say about her and all that she did. Not just all of her positions of leadership and she had many. But also all that she did for me and my family and all that she taught me personally. She was my stake relief society president and in the midst of her cancer she trained me to serve the women of Buffalo when I was called as president of our ward organization of women. And she and her husband treated us like we were family. We will never forget the Easter Sunday we had in their home and how fun the Easter Egg game was. We came home with over a hundred dollars hidden in our eggs. They gave us their dishwasher and countertops for our Buffalo home. She always had time for me, though she probably was one of the busiest women in all of Buffalo.  

I keep editing this because it is just too long. I want to write all the things I learned about her life at the memorial service. I had no idea how involved she was in helping women all over the world.  But I would have to write way more than most of you want to read. So I will just say that she was an angel to the world and her life abounded in good works. I have learned so much from my association with her, and now from the tragic end to her life. I know that there are many questions why someone like her has to die so young. You can tell that I am getting old, because 59 seriously sounds so young. She still had so much to give and her death leaves such a void in so many lives. 

But I am so moved by what she did in her short life. None of us know the length of our days. This is why it is so important to make them count through love and service. Knowing Susan and now having to say goodbye to her have touched me deeply and I hope I can remember the example of her full life and not waste my own. I am so sorry for her family and especially her wonderful husband. That's the problem of being so great. How can they now go on with out her? We will be praying for them. 


So despite the weather, the funeral, and of course the reminder of our sketchy old neighborhood we were so glad we decided to spend our weekend traveling 9 hours back to Buffalo. We had such a wonderful time catching up with so many people. I did feel bad about disrupting the Buffalo ward. We had planned to leave right after Sacrament meeting and skip the classes because the road ahead was snowy and long, but we ended up spending over an hour talking in the gym and making many others skip class instead. I was amazed that good old Br. Benson didn't send us to class like he was famous for.  Next time we need to just throw ourselves a party I guess. But it was really like coming back home. I am so grateful to have known the people living in Buffalo. Maybe someday we will feel like that about this new area. 

But first I need to get more involved. Thank you Susan for teaching me that.

First of all I want to know if Wicked is the new word everywhere or if it's not coincidental that I started hearing it right and left since moving to New England.  It's "Wicked cold", "Wicked awesome" "Wicked ugly". I even hear it in the halls at church and they aren't talking about the scriptural kind of wicked. Someone told me that it's been Wicked this and Wicked that around here for years but to me it sounds like a new thing.

Another word that is part of the local vocabulary is Whoopie Pie. They just keep coming up and it's fun to see people's reaction when I admit that we've never tasted one ever. Finally someone brought us some on  New Year's Eve and we are now just like everyone else. We eat Whoopie Pies.

I found them okay but definitely can't understand what the big whoop is.  I like Donuts way better. 

Years ago, one Christmas Eve I took it upon myself to plan the Fielding Family Christmas Party. We met at my parents home in Walla Walla, WA and had a big fondue party Christmas Eve. All I remember is my Dad complaining non stop about the hot oil sizzling in the middle of the table and extension cords running around the room. Way too dangerous. Especially with Kashann's 1 and 2 year-olds sitting up to the table with us. And he wanted to know why there weren't any potatoes with the meal. Seems like he spent the whole evening in the kitchen microwaving everyone a potato that of course none of us touched. 

He also had a hard time with the length of the meal. What's the point of sitting down to dinner if you still have to cook it? This meal could go on for well over an hour waiting for two minutes for each bite. What he didn't understand was that was the whole point. We wanted to Sit and Talk and Eat for a really long time.  

Despite my father's bad fondue attitude Brent and I completely disagreed and decided that fondue was definitely tradition worthy. Several years back, though we decided it was more of a New Year's Eve thing.  Now we only get out the electric frying pan once a year. New Year's Eve. And it is filled with hot oil and surrounded by raw meats and veggies and 5 different dips and lots of children reaching in all different directions. A little high stress but nothing that we can't handle one night a year.  And Dad. . .  So far no one has been burned . . (though many have been popped if they choose to sit in the middle of the table, like where we stuck Kennon's friend this year.)

 It's amazing how good fried broccoli is. And Brent was even frying the grape tomatoes. Any other day I would question, "Now, why are we frying it?" But on New Year's Eve let's just get it all in the grease. You can start your diet Jan. 1 and man you are going to want to have the last Hurrah of 2010 like this.  Joining us this year for our greasy tradition were Alainna and Johnathon still hanging around from Long Island, and Kennon's favorite friend here, Georgia.

Now Kennon doesn't ask her parents everyday to move back to Washington. On some days she tells us she wants to move to Maine. That's where Georgia lives. She's only 20 minutes away but around here that easily could mean Maine. She is one of the five beehives in Kennon's church class. 
Has anyone else been noticing how tall Kennon is lately? She is just as about as tall as me. And look at her wicked long hair. She keeps telling everyone that she is growing it out, so no she can't cut it yet. She'll cut it when it is "grown out".  That must mean hanging below her behind. 

I am growing out my hair also. I have never had long hair even once in my whole life so I am enjoying it even it if is a bit stringy. Once again it's impossible to catch Kennon (hair's longer, runs faster, and plays piano far better than me) though I think I have been growing it out for nearly as long as she has.  It started last summer when I made a statement to Brent that I wasn't going to cut my hair until he got a job.


That's back when it had never entered it my mind that he wouldn't be getting a job out of dental school. 


 I am still letting it grow now a year and a half later. My girls love it longer and are going to kill me when I do finally cut it off. They are always pulling up old pictures of me with short hair and saying, "Mom, look how ugly you were. Don't cut your hair!" 


Our lives have changed a bit in seems in the last month. We feel so much less overwhelmed with our new business. All those little things we never felt like we would ever get around to doing have been done. We put up our sign. .  finally. We had the wood floors refinished over Christmas break and successfully moved all the furniture back in on our own. 


Now when I visit the office to do the weekly cleaning I look around and think, "Wow, we did it. I like this little office of ours". Where as before I never went to the office without getting extremely stressed out about our situation. 


Brent is settling in acting like a real dentist and doesn't come home with nearly as many office horror stories. He also doesn't spend all night on dental town (his favorite dentist site) once he gets home trying to learn how to be a dentist. Things are going as well or maybe better than we anticipated when we bought this practice. He tells me every day about how much he likes meeting all his patients and how amazingly nice they all are. I went with him last week and got a sitter for the day on Friday. The office is officially closed Fridays but Brent keeps having them schedule stuff that he can't fit in during the four day work week. I came to answer phones and get more acquainted with everything.


Now, I've always sort of felt bad for Brent since we started this thing that he has to be the one to go to work everyday while I get to stay home without the worries. After one whole day hanging out in his world though I have changed my mind. Going to the office is fun. The hours speed by while you have a great time talking and meeting new people all day.  No one needs to feel bad for him. What about me?