Camille's 8th Birthday Weekend

Camille's planned un-birthday party was indefinitely postponed last month due to H1N1.

We finally had it Saturday, the day before her birthday. We went ahead and called it a birthday party.

Savannah took care of EVERYTHING. . .

the theme. . .

. . . the cupcakes

. . .the craft

. . . the decorations

. . . the Hosting
. . . and serving as Head Cheerleader

We had a pretty small turnout which was fine with her little sister.

She got the extra set of pom poms.

I helped a little bit.
I burnt the hot dogs.

One little friend had three questions for me when she saw the spread.

1) Where is the pepperoni for her cheese?
2)Where is the carmel for her sliced fruit?
and
3)Where are the onions for her hot dog?

Sorry, you'll have to take it up with Savannah.

Sunday we spent her birthday morning at Stake Conference.

For her birthday lunch she requested- Steak and Of Course. . . mashed potatoes. The steak. . I also burned.

Unfortunately, during lunch I noticed she was shivering and just picking at her mashed potatoes. I got out the well used thermometer and low and behold our birthday girl was running a fever. ????

(Notice whose wearing her Attitude glasses?)

After that it wasn't a very good day.

We had to drag her from bed shivering to sing happy birthday and eat ice cream cake -Mud Pie.
Brrrh!
I served her some hot chocolate with it.

Her favorite gift was her very own scarf so she doesn't have to steal from her sisters. Now they will be stealing from her.

Last night as she went to bed I heard her pray. "Thanks for the very good birthday, but it would've been a lot better if I wasn't sick".

We are looking forward to a visit from Grandpa F. this weekend and her baptism on Saturday.

I have no idea why she is sick AGAIN! I have her home from school today and keeping her comfortable with ibuprofen as she is still running a fever.

Becoming a two car family in Our town with Our driveway is a major winter headache. From November 1 through April 1 no cars are allowed on our street over night. So we have had to find somewhere to hide our car between the hours of 11 p.m. -6 a.m. Our front lawn, the auto body shop down the street, or sometimes a neighbor a couple blocks away who also stored our boat.

We just couldn't stand facing the hassel again all winter. Plus, won't digging the front lawn help us sell the place in a few months? I don't know.

Last Saturday Brent took action and 1/2 the front lawn disappeared into our backyard. By 6 p.m. he was worn out but ready to rent a cement mixer and get on with it. I was not excited about a long date night in the front yard.

Turns out I only had to stay up till 1o with him holding onto my side of the board while we screeted. But with the screeting done it we were down to a man one troweling job so I was off the hook. He went to bed with me but set the alarm to wake him up every hour for work. He finally crawled into bed for good at 2:30 a.m., so we sorta broke the sabbath but the ox was in the mire.

And this is the result.
I am not sure about the strip of grass he chose to leave. He never consults me much when he starts in on something and I forget to take a look first. Should this be a flower bed instead? Leave a comment, please.

Now when I park the van I have to back up, window down, watching the left tire. I have been instructed to 1)keep it right along the edge of the neighbor's lawn and leave the Buick plenty of space and then 2) only open my door just a crack when I get out. I remembered the part about the tire but forgot the latter instruction. The first time, the second time. . . and well tonight I hope I get it right or we are going to have some major damage to the drivers door.

While Brent dug up grass I duped up the kids on ibuprofen and had them help me with the mountain of leaves in the backyard. Our big old tree supplies plenty of leaves for lots of fun for us. . .
and all of our neighbors backyards too.Marcus wanted to come but I wouldn't let him out since he was not doing too well still. He loves to be outside, but if he's locked in he usually bides his time like this. He also runs his CD's all day long. Whenever a favorite one comes to an end he runs out hollering,"Momma, E I E I E O done!" no matter if he is listening to Old McDonald or I am a child of God. That is the code word for, "Get in there and start'er up, mom".

He is going be as smart as his sisters if Savannah has anything to do with it. She pumps him full of info constantly and has taught him hundreds of songs. The jury is still out though on his athletic ability and interests. Brent is convinced his boy is just fine but I can't help but notice he prefers singing and reading to a game of catch.

This documents the never ending season of swine flu at our house The three older girls got it the very worst and hardly left this couch for two weeks. Of the five of them Marcus had the easiest time. He was only sick for a week and never slowed him down though, he did get real confused when his temperature would rise. He never stopped running but he would cry out, " Momma, I cold!"

This was the fastest year on record getting ready for trick or treating. At the last minute Kennon and Marcus came along. Marcus only came along for a couple houses just because we couldn't bear to leave him home now he was big enough to say,"Trick or Treat, please".

Someone had just given me this Eyore costume. After examining it, I decided it wasn't dignified enough for Marcus and threw it in the salvation army box by the back door. Kennon found it though and had it on him and out the door before I could protest. It was warm anyway. Brent ran out Halloween morning and got a little drill so he could stay home with us and do lab work for now on. He sat here and had his meals served from 9 a.m. till 9 p.m. making a patient's denture while the kids carved pumpkins and coughed around him. It was pretty interesting to see him make the teeth that someone will have to wear in their mouth. He was quite slow. . . or I guess you could say meticulous.

My house was really trashed for a long time with kids stuff everywhere. I am working hard getting it back into shape. I lay down to take a nap the other afternoon but made the mistake of choosing, "Home Makeovers That Sell" as my reading material.

I had only started the first chapter but I just couldn't stand it any longer. I was reading the kitchen section and it mentioned putting a bunch of stuff in storage to avoid the look of a crowded kitchen and definitely not storing anything on top of your cupboards! My cupboard tops are my favorite shelf ever, completely stacked with appliances, large bowels, cereal boxes etc. I hopped right out bed and cleaned out my kitchen and by the time I was done I had a large load for the salvation army.

Any thing that I haven't used since moving in had to go. I also dropped off four dining chairs from our basement that Brent recovered 3 years ago. I saw them yesterday during my weekly shopping trip to the thrift store. They were selling them for $40. I wonder if that money could've been mine? I am not much of a Craigslist girl. When I decide something is out, it is out. Immediately.

Marcus helped collect seeds for roasting.

Kennon must've not had her dose of ibuprofen and missed out on the carving fun.

Check out the hair on top! Since he grew some, his sister Savannah taught him about mohawks and he asks for one constantly.

All my children were well enough to go back to school yesterday. Finally! It was a fabulous day. So nice to see my couch without blankets, pillows, books and 3 kids sprawled all over it.

Unfortunately, today is Veteran's Day and they won't let me send them back again until tomorrow.

Dealing with the flu still

Still toughing it out here with four very sick kids. No one has told me that this is truly the swine flu but I am thinking it has to be since it is so hard for them to lick. Most of the time a flu is in and out of our house in the matter of a couple days.

I think they are starting to feel like they are never going to get better. Camille got sick on Sunday the 25th but it was mild and by Wednesday she was back in school. Later that night, after we got home from the ward Halloween party Savannah starting getting really sick. On Friday Kennon and Marcus starting fevering. And then surprise surprise Camille decides that she is still sick after all and Saturday night is doing terrible with all four of them waking me up all night long with high fevers. Since Sunday it has been around the clock Tylenol and Motrin and three kids sprawled on the couch shivering or sweating every 3 hours when their current medicine wears off. Marcus on the other hand just runs around -nose running, coughing, saying, "I cold! I cold". He can't figure out what hit him. He never lays down like the other kids and I can't imagine how he has the energy to keep running around.

I make Brent check them out every night with his stethoscope. The two things the Doctor tells you to watch out for is dehydration or respiratory problems. Since I am very clear now on respiratory problems after dealing with Caroline I feel they are in good hands with me as their nurse. I know so much more this time around then I did when Caroline was sick.Now I am running a cool mist humidifier, thumping on their backs, and giving them mucinex once in a while doing all I can to keep fluids from building up and starting off pneumonia.

The other night after tucking all four kids into bed in the same room- the one with the humidifier, I said to Brent, "What did we need this big house for?"

I wish this could be over soon so I could stop worrying. Or at least have one of the four pull out of it, so the rest of us can see it can be beat. And I hate being reminded on the daily news that kids do die from this stuff. There have been two swine flu related deaths in the area in the last week. One of them was the 15 year old daughter of Brent's patient coordinator at the dental school. She went into Children's Hospital the day after we left with Caroline. She died one week later after her organs all shut done and she was waiting for a heart transplant.

When you have four all down at once you have to be fairly well organized.

I have been keeping a white board next to the medicine cabinet where I chart their fevers and when I give them medicine. It is just too hard to keep in my head when they are needing medicine so often.

Caroline is loving being the well child and was heard this morning coaching Kennon how to get her medicine down.

Seeing her so well reminds me that this too shall pass. It is just hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now. I hate seeing my kids sick.

I am thankful. For a warm house, modern medicine, and the fact that Brent and I remain flu free. I keep thinking, "What if we were crossing the plains right now?" and then feel so bad for pioneer mothers. Things could be so much worse.

I took all four sicky's (marcus, camille, savannah, and kennon) to the Dr. today instead of going to church then brought them home again with advice to just keep toughing it out since the flu going around can linger for TWO weeks! It was miserable since they were all running fevers when I drug them out of the house to sit and wait in a patient room with not even enough seats for all of us. You know that they were sick because kennon wouldn't even brush her hair and left home without a single accessory.

Camille starting running a fever again last night and so I really got concerned, since it has been a week for her, and I thought she was getting better.

The Dr. ordered an x-ray after listening to her lungs. Of the four of them hers one was the only one that sounded a little crackly. I waited for an hour for the results thinking, "here we go again". But the x-ray showed clear lungs and we were sent home with zero antibiotics.

I haven't had a well house since Oct 8th when Caroline first got sick. Camille got sick the day after we got home from the hospital. I don't think I can take much more of this watching all my children with high fevers for SO LONG!

I know that there is people sick all over the country right now but is anyone else getting hit this bad at their house? That's what happens when you have so many kids I guess. Everything gets drug out a lot longer and mothers have 5x as much to worry about.

And, apparently my super foods aren't doing the trick.

It finally caught up with the rest of the kids.

Camille was first and is now almost all better, but still missing her voice.

Kennon and Savannah are currently pretty sick.

Savannah seems to be taking it the worst as usual.

I told her it's because she has been refusing my super RX foods all week. Pumpkin Chili, Fruity Spinach smoothies, garlic and cayenne pepper in everything . I read up on the best foods for beating colds and flu and I have been busy making even more nutritious meals than usual. I agreed with Savannah about the pumpkin chili, way too mushy, but the spinach smoothie idea was an excellent one and we will be having lots of those in the future. Marcus also succumbed last night and is fevering, coughing, and making me nervous.

Glad this didn't hit us all at once last week when we were in the hospital. Hopefully we can have better luck with these other four and stay out of the hospital.

By the way, Happy Halloween!

Looks like Caroline and Camille are the only two dressing up tonight at our house. Dr. Casper is going to have to up his candy tax since he's missing a few trick or treaters this year.

The day we came home

Last Saturday night we had a party to celebrate the end of a long week that earned Caroline the lovely ankle bracelet. We ordered greasy pizza and buffalo wings and made ourselves sick. But not hospital sick.
Our room on the seventh floor was huge. We each had our own bed. Once Brent stopped worrying if his daughter would live or die, he relaxed and enjoyed his vacation. Mom was home watching our kids, we had cable and wireless Internet right in our room, and Caroline was still getting her voice back and wasn't quite as hard on his ears as usual.
Here is Caroline running around holding onto her monitor cord that is attached to her toe. We unplugged her a lot the last day as we waited to be sent home. We all enjoyed having her back on her feet.

Ward Halloween Party

My two personal favorites were:

Super Enzo!
Lorenzo's mother sewed this amazing costume.

Pee Wee Herman.
Richard and Erica are the king and queen of Halloween around here.

Someone is way too small for their costume

His older sisters talked me into letting him wear the 4T Jack Sparrow costume I picked up on clearance last year. It was falling off him all night. . . ARRRGH!

Hippy Savannah, Sacajawea Kennon, Genie Camille, Pirate Marco, and a little Caroline scarecrow that has to go potty. Marcus and Henry sharing a moment.

Leaves are falling

I love it when it is warm enough to actually enjoy the fall.

The leaf angels were Caroline's idea.

Last week time stood still. Such a short time later we are back to normal. My mom left this morning which confirms that we are out of crisis and are moving on.

Caroline even went to school this morning. With a note about how she is supposed to cough and it won't make anyone else sick. I finally let her sleep in her room last night, confident that I didn't need to check her breathing during the night. I am going to be thinking of her all day at school.

Camille was running a low fever yesterday and laying around. She was really scared to be sick after seeing what happened to her sister. I had to reassure her that she wouldn't be going to the hospital like Caroline.

Once during the day I called out across the room to Camille, "Are you okay, honey? Do you need anything?"

Caroline was playing in the room and turned to me confused. "What? I thought you were talking to me." It is going to take her awhile to adjust to not being our princess who lays in bed and orders mother around.

So things are settling, but this crisis has deepened my faith and brought everyone in this house closer together, though we are still having fights over clothes every morning when Kennon and Savannah leave the house. Somethings are never resolved till you leave home I guess.

As I prayed last week, I had no idea where this was all heading. But I felt an assurance that we were strong enough to make it through even if we did lose Caroline. It was a small measure of peace that saw me through. Even though I was sick to my stomach at the moment I kept telling Brent that either way we were going to be okay. I just kept praying that that was the extent of the test. I had showed my father in heaven that I would trust in him and would not lose my faith that we were in his care.

I am not sure why this time my child was spared. I am so so grateful that he decided that it was enough.

(Brent will probably disagree and say I was anything but strong since he saw me bawling the whole week even after she got better. I was also really tired and didn't deal very well with the back and forth to the hospital to take care of all my children.)

My 8 year old sister died in a family car accident when I was 10. Though I was young it was no small thing for me to move on from. After nightmares for a week following the accident about her, I finally was able to have a sweet dream that brought me peace that she was okay where she was and that I would see her again. This tragic loss of my sister has strengthened me throughout my life as I had to decide at a young age that I believed in life after death, and because of that I would live worthy to be with her again someday. For that reason, I cannot doubt. My sister is waiting for me. Since I have become a mother, though I have often marveled at how my mother was able to recover from the loss of her daughter which is so much harder than losing a sister. I have always prayed that this would not be my trial because I didn't think I was strong enough.

These trials that we go through are horrible and I don't want to even imagine what the next one may be. But I thank God for the things I have learned and for his great love and mercy.

Something else happened last week while we were in the hospital. My friend Janice Snyder died. I have blogged about her before. She was my Cayuga Indian visiting teaching partner. She cooked our thanksgiving turkey last year. She was blind but always led the way when we drove around the city. She never complained though she was on dialysis for years and never felt well. She always got after me when I showed up with my children at her house because they didn't have "a bonnet" on. She always had an apple for Caroline. I always came home from my visits with her and had stories to tell Brent about how much she had got after me but how great she was.

The last few months of her life she she spent in a rest home about 25 minutes from my house. I went to visit her once in August.

She was really upset at me this time while I was there all because I had come straight from church in a red dress. She said, "You don't come to visit me wearing red!" Since that visit I have thought of her often and kept planning to go again, but never made it.

I once heard a quote from Marjorie P. Hinckley, the late wife of former LDS prophet Gordon B. Hinckley that went something like, "If you ever have a generous thought, act on it. The opportunity may pass you by"

It is too late to let Sister Snyder know how much I love her and be her friend in her final days. But there are other people that I can help and bless today and I hope that I will never have to suffer the pain I have felt since hearing of her death, knowing that I abandoned someone that I loved. I hope that she forgives me and somehow is able to know how much I loved her.

Sorry for all the sentimentality. The death of a friend and a very sick daughter all in one week have left me feeling that the line between heaven and earth is very thin.

Thanks for all of your love and prayer last week. I hope I can be the same friend to you when you need it as that is just the way of life. We all take a turn.

More light hearted posts ahead.

I promise.

We are home!

Caroline thinks she is all better and is yelling, running around the house, and of course smiling.

We tried to get a happy meal on the way home but she is still working on getting her appetite back. She didn't even want an ice cream cone. I think after all that hospital food she just forgot that food can taste good.

Brent is happy to sleep in his own bed after a week by her side in the hospital.

It is so good to get the family back together again. We are so thankful.

Look Mom, no oxygen

Lots of smiles this morning. We are all so happy here. Especially Caroline. She's been without oxygen support for over an hour now. We are hovering close to the "hook her back up" line but so far a good cough seems to do the trick. If we can make it the rest of the day and through the night without needing the oxygen, the docs say she may go home tommorow. That would be pretty amazing.

A big thank you to all her Casper cousins, aunts and uncles for their family fast the last 24 hours. We love you guys!

Caroline had an awesome respiratory physical therapist come in and work on her back for about a half hour this afternoon. He was like a mother burping his baby to sleep. She nodded off during it and has now been asleep for 2 hours and has continued from the time he came in to have her best numbers all day. He put her to sleep and even while sleeping an hour later her numbers have been the best all day. I watched exactly how he did everything, and hope I will have similar results. Unfortunately she likes other people way better than mom right now and is not quite as cooperative when I start touching her.

Snapshots of our hospital stay so far

I didn't take any pictures on day one or two. I had the camera but couldn't bear to do it. She looked too bad and it didn't feel right to take pictures. I definitely wasn't thinking of the blog.Showing off gifts from her Texas Cousins. The only fun thing about being sick is getting spoiled. Wouldn't you agree?
Her first meal was a bit of a dissapointment. Cooked Carrots do not cheer up sick five year olds. I ate them. They were terrible but I needed the nourishment.
This is a special shower cap that washes and rinses. After microwaving the bag you sit it on your head for about 10 minutes, That it's! Awesome! Too bad it doesn't detangle too. Luckily we had plenty of time!

I guess I wanted to document how tired I was at this point.

Grandma arrives with markers and is the best medicine ever for our sicky.

This shows you what Caroline calls her "Cast" and her "blue button". She guards that blue button like a mother hen and is always smoothing the cords, and yelling at me to be careful so they don't get "fwisted" when we get on her camping toilet. She was a little unsure of the peeing right in your bed idea, but then they told her that it was just like camping. She said, "Yeah, one time my dad had me go in a bucket"
I am sure my brother Jeremy will enjoy the bucket reference. We are kind of famous for our bucket use.

Dad still insists on brushing. Even in the PICU.

Talking to her sisters and telling them everything that they are missing out on.
"Did you know that I have a cast?"

This was taken in the early days of her sickness at home. She was sick of being away in her room but hated the light shining on her and the noise. I think I maybe was a little too heavy on the bundling up. I hope she wasn't running a fever at this point.

Good things:
Caroline is no longer in the PICU and moved up to floor 7. I like it way better.

She has stopped fevering and no more Motrin around the clock

Grandma is taking good care of everyone.

I like her Dr.'s right now and they are pretty attentive and address my concerns.

Brent and I each had a pullout bed last night and slept by her side with only about 15 or so times of getting up. (She pees every half hour in a bed pan, and needs her nasal tube removed quite often to wipe her nose. I often wake to "RUNNY!")


Not so good things:
After trying twice to lower her support her numbers dropped so we haven't made any improvements since yesterday. We are back up to 50% oxygen and 6 liters of flow. Anything more than this and she needs to go back to PICU.

They took her food back away.

She is very weak and very tired, especially now she doesn't have any Motrin highs. Nothing is going to be happening quickly.

They made me nervous this morning during the Dr. rounds talking about possible secondary infections.

I have tried to stand her up a couple times now and she is not ready.

Lungs are still crackly.

It is horrible to watch her breathe, big belly breaths.

After improving Tuesday afternoon and yesterday she now seems to be holding. I want progress.

I miss my other 4 kids and wonder how much longer I am going to be away from them.

I am still wearing the clothes I put on Tuesday at 6 p.m. Other than having a tooth brush to keep my teeth clean I am without options as I am stuck here. But honestly I feel great and a shower is not a big concern right now.

I just thought I would share a little bit about what a parent is doing while hanging out with a child with pneumonia in the hospital. Every 15 minutes when they are awake they should have PT therapy to try to work the stuff out of their lungs. This means you sit them up, get them to cough, hit on their back, and then do breathing exercises with things they can suck in on or blow out. They are weak and this is the last thing they want to do. You have to coax them by making it a game. You also remind them about how many people are praying for them and that they need to work very hard to get better.

It is hard work to be sick in the hospital. Caroline hardly gets a break. Neither do I.
Linda S. just stopped by and brought me some microwave meals. I was about to heat them up when they delivered Caroline's plate of Macaroni and cheese that never got canceled. So I ate macaroni and will have something for dinner, thanks to Linda.

Caroline wasn't really up for visitors right then and pretty much all she said to Linda was, "Did you bring me a present?"Her nurse pretty much refuses to give her pain medication because every time she asks her how she is doing she says, "Good" They either have to have a fever or say something hurts or she can't. I can't decide if she needs it or not. I miss her happy self that the Motrin brought back. I can't get a hold of Brent today as he is down at a Convention. I miss having him taking care of her and making sure she gets the care she needs.