Kashann and Clan

I wanted to let all of you know that our prayers have been answered and Caroline is doing so much better. I can hear her breathing beside me now and it is amazing compared to yesterday. She currently has 50% oxygen support so we are bringing her down and she just gets better not worse. I expect that we will be kicked out of the PICU soon.

Brent and I spent another night together here at the hospital. Brent has been here non-stop by her side since Sunday when we checked in. He looks pretty fresh this morning considering that he hasn't showered or changed his outfit for 4 days now. Maybe that's because he got the pull out bed last night while I slept in the chair.

I guess first come first serve. I didn't make it back to the hosptial till after midnight. I picked my mom up at the airport at 10 p.m. and shortly after walking to the baggage claim area the airport lost power and suddenly it was pitch black. The lights came back on though in a minute and we were lucky enough to see her bag going by right after that.

The holdup came trying to get out of long term free parking. Out of 7 exit gates only 3 of the gates were lifting up. But no one knew that from my vantage point.

So we are talking about a huge crazy jam everyone twisted all over place trying to find their path, mine being free parking. Hundreds of cars, people swearing, no one knowing what to do or which way to go.

At one point I was stuck crossing three lanes horizontally unable to move. That was not fun. At that point I was close enough to see that the free parking lane was no good. Everyone who made it over there was stuck and couldn't get back in line. So I immediately turned and started trying to weasle nto the nearest lane, amid some very angry drivers.

It was pretty ridiculous that they were so intent on getting the money from their long term vehicles that they wouldn't just lift the working gates up and let us all out of there. And for some reason most of the cars would sit at the gate with the attendant for several minutes. It was insane. Luckily we were one of the first cars in the jam and it only took us about 45 minutes to leave though there were only about 4 cars in each line ahead of us. And although at first she said my free pass wasn't going to work in this lane, she ended up letting me through.

But the point of the post is to say that we were are in the clear. Mom is here, Caroline is out of danger and we are just so grateful.

I know that many people made this happen. Thank you so much to all of you for taking a break from your very busy lives to keep Caroline in your thoughts and especially your prayers. I especially appreciate it because I know that you all have your own heartaches and worries right now in your lives and it means so much that you were able to carry our burdens and help us along.

I wanted to share an email I received yesterday from a friend, a mother of four, that I haven't seen in about 10 years. We have reconnected through blogging. This letter illustrates the outpouring of love and prayers on behalf of Carolin and is one example of how wonderful our support has been.

My heart goes out to your family. I know how you're feeling. Last year our little, Hudson, well he had what we thought was the flu. He was vomiting over and over and had diarrhea. We took him to the ER and about an hour later then announced they were life flighting him to Spokane to a children's hospital. They said that he had a ruptured bowel. They put him in the PICU for 11 days. It was such a scary time for us. I felt guilty for having thoughts of his funeral. Robert was completely upbeat (in denial, I think) and I was convincing myself that we would be at his funeral in a few days. Of course I wanted more than anything in the world for him to get better, but I thought it would hurt less if I prepared myself for the worse now. I was so angry too. I would think about the times when I had spanked Hudson for tiny reasons or when I brushed him off after he invited me to build block castles in his room. Oh God I would have done anything to have that chance again, I thought to myself. I was constantly lying in bed with him. He had a normal adult size bed and that was nice cause we could lay with him. I would lay there hour after hour whispering in his ear, "Daddy & Mommy love you so much. Your such a good little boy. We are so proud of you. I love you, Hudson. Mommy & Daddy love you so so so so so Much." It's strange how it takes nearly losing a child before we really begin to value their tiny lives. I kept telling myself, "I have 4 children. What are the chances of all four living into their adult lives?" I really thought that I was bound to lose at least one. (Negative, I know)

I wish I could tell you some magic spell to say to make her better. All I really know is that SLEEP is the best thing you and Brent can do for your entire family. Also continue to pray. We would sit in Hudson's bed and hold him and pray for hours. He would fall asleep and we would continue to pray. We would ask Hudson, "Do you believe Hudson, that heavenly father can heal you?" Hudson would say, "I believe, I believe!" In fact they let us take him on walks around the hospital in a wagon. Robert would pull the wagon and I would push all of the IV bags and oxygen cans. People would say hello to him and Hudson would say back, "I believe!" So everyone in the hospital nick named him "I Believe." I should also tell you that there was one night when he was so terribly sick and the doctors didn't know if he would make it through the night. They told Robert and I not to leave the room. His breathing was labored and his fever was at 106*. That was the only time that we spoke to Hudson about dying. We knew that he knew that he was close to dying. He was scared and by us not talking about it, it made it scarier to him. It broke my heart to tell him that mommy & daddy would be okay if he chose to go back home to heavenly father. (it still brings me to tears) Luckily, he made it through.

I will continue to pray multiple times daily. I placed Caroline on our churches prayer chain. I received an email this morning that told me that the chain had already reached across the globe and tens of thousands were praying for Caroline. This afternoon at 4:30 PM (WA state time) everyone that knows of Caroline's condition will sit down and pray with their families, friends, church and pray for 10 min straight. I know that when this was done for Hudson, Rob and I felt those prayers. It was so amazing to think of so many strangers taking the time to pray and concentrate on just my little boy (a stranger to them.) (Later, my daughter Addy said, "Mom, they are not strangers. They are our brothers & sisters.")

So we will pray for our sister, Caroline and her complete healing. We will pray for brother Brent and sister Kashann, that they may feel the Lord's presence and find some peace during this hard time.

God bless you all.
Lisa and family

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