After TWO YEARS we finally took the whole family back to our roots out west. 

While there Marcus learned to ski around the lake.

He had a little help from Dad

Kennon is spending about a month away from home - here and there. First she and Savannah went to a girls camp here in NH with other mormons. Savannah loved it. Kennon was anxious to move on to the next thing and was happy when I picked her up a day early so she could catch her flight to WA. This week her and cousin, Katie are at EFY (especially for youth) another Mormon Camp in Tacoma, WA. I've spoken with her once and she seemed very upbeat especially about how there are "guys that escort us to everything". We are missing her here and anxious to meet up with her in a week when we head to WA. 

Kennon seems to be calming down a bit and liking us more lately. I mean even before she left. I've heard that high school is much better than middle school for girls and I am hoping that is true. She even surprised us and planned an evening picnic a few weeks ago. The walkway was lined with candles and the christmas lights were hung in our trees. This is the kind of stuff that she used to do so and it was fun to see the old Kennon again.

 Mosquitos are pretty bad here at night so I don't know if we will make a habit out of it.

I don't like mosquitos, ticks or . . . poison ivy. They all are a part of our lives now in a big way if you you don't take proper precautions. Recently I have been schooled about poison ivy. 

I decided one day that I was going to get the weeds out of a rock wall. Brent had told me to spray it because it was full of poison ivy. But I had gloves on and wasn't planning on touching them. I made Savannah help me. A week later I was really complaining that my "mosquito bites" were horrible. A few days after that those mosquito bites started blistering and forming lines across my arms and legs. Then finally my chest and back broke out in a rash. A Dr gave me a prescription of prednisone later that day and totally relieved my itching. Before that I was doing a lot of internet research about getting rid of the stuff and came across a warning, "Do not pull out Poison Ivy by the root or you will get a Wicked Rash!" So true!

The steriod pills are working out so great though. I have tons of energy right now when I go running. I actually was feeling like a new woman on my last run after 20 minutes feeling great running in 80 degree temperature. Then I remembered the six performance enhancing drugs I took a couple hours before my run and realized that this wasn't all me after all. 

Brent purchased the biker jacket I am sporting at a pawn shop back in the early 90's. I have never been too crazy about the old leathered and zippered look but he thinks a vintage jacket is a good look for a biker like him. He was being nice when he brought it out for me to wear for our 10 minute break from our children one night. We just returned a redbox. Brent had three motorcycles in Washington. Actually make that HAS three motorcycles in Washington. They are still there in the Garage of Memories that we haven't ever made it back to clean out. His Puch was perfect for the Buffalo days and now he has his NH bike. So that's 5 motorcycles in 16 years. I am sure that there will be more because I still see him looking them up on Craigslist. That and airplanes and vintage cars.

So back to my needing a break. Parenting has recently become pretty intense for Brent and I.  The hardest thing of all is that there no break from it now. The older ones go to bed so late, the younger ones wake up so early AND Even when you finally get them all into their beds every night you still have to lay awake and talk about how worried you are about them for hours.

Back in the early days when it was just the two of us we used to play a couple hands of UNO or Backgammon -best of seven at night before bed. The old days of Brent and Kashann are so gone. There is no way we would play card games after the kids go to bed.  That is just not happening. 6 kids zap it out of us. Our children span the complete spectrum of worries. For instance Baby Calvin had a fever today. Is he finally teething or could he have an ear infection?  Kennon NEEDS a new dress because it's 8th grade semi this week and all the 14 year old girls in town have little strapless formals and boyfriends and think they are headed to the prom. Savannah will never smile at us again unless she gets her IPOD touch back.

And we are going to have a teenager under our roof for the next 18 years. It is going to do us in.

The ones in the middle require less discussion at night currently . 
Camille is so easy still. Will she really be keeping us up at night in a couple years?  No way! Not Camille.  She's different. She's incorruptible.

And Caroline and Marcus are just the epitome of the scripture to become like a little child. Oblivious to other people's opinions and just so happy to be alive.

Besides worrying about the welfare of 6 children I also have such a hard time living in a house with all these people that I ultimately have to pick up after.  It drives me nuts on a minute to minute basis. I just bustle from room to room getting angrier and angrier because I just can't get to it all and I can't stand seeing the disarray. Messes make me REALLY grumpy. Order and Neatness make me sooo happy and I can't seem to find happiness without them.

I made several goals today and I thought about posting little signs all over the house that say:  Be positive. Be happy. Show love. Those are hard things to do when you are overworked, under appreciated and living in what I consider A MESS.

I also thought about making a large sign that reads Happy Chaos.

Why can't I just embrace chaos  and see it as a natural stage of our lives right now?

I often think of my niece Natasha. She found out a year ago that her 2 year old daughter, Clara had neuroblastoma and needed to be in a hospital for major treatment. The hospital wasn't even in town. They were separated from their other 4 kids for months while one parent was constantly by her side and others helped out at home. She often said how much she wished that she could be home in the chaos of  laundry, lessons, homework, dishes and children. All the things that I am complaining about because my life is just too good right now.

I also need a sign that says Be Grateful.

I know that the saying is true, "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

So I am journaling all this to remind myself to quit going crazy and complaining and love my life a little more.

I will leave you with Calvin. Kennon took these a couple weeks ago and I love them all.

Track season

Savannah's hurdling injury cut short her season last year and left her with a pink cast. She switched events this year and has done very well in the high jump placing second at last weeks meet with a jump of 4.2 (I believe).

Kennon placed third overall in the 400 meter run. 


Track meets have been few and far between this year due to spring rains. It is staying nice and green around here and I love not having to water my new garden I am planting. 


I don't miss the days in the desert trying to keep a nice green yard alive. And despite the rain we have had enough sun to justify putting up our pool in time for Memorial Day Holiday Brent filled it up with warm water from the house since he's Mr. Nice Guy. They played in it all day yesterday. It's raining again today. 

Marcus spends lots of time outdoors playing in all the new sand his Dad dug up. He thinks he's at the beach and my wood floors are impossible to keep clean now he's tracking it in constantly. He brought out all the beach toys and the sun umbrella. He also is enjoying popsicle season and the box of freeze pops I put in the freezer. He was just helping himself to them constantly by running through the garage (located next to his sandbox) and into the storage room where the freezer is. One day we heard him run by an open window with a couple for him and his neighbor friend. He offered him one with a big smile on his face saying, "My mother didn't even notice". He was pretty surprised when I called him in.  The gig is up. Sorry buddy. 

Caroline is 8

Here's Caroline on the day she turned 8 off to school in all her new birthday stuff.  Grandma sent something way more exciting than new school clothes. 

She started an American Girl 8th grade birthday when Kennon first turned 8 without really thinking of the ramifications of buying such a nice gift for the first girl of my four. I have felt so bad every time another one of my daughter's turned 8 and Grandma had to buy another expensive doll for our family. Thank goodness we are done with that and Grandma and Grandpa can start contributing to their retirement instead of our growing doll collection.  Caroline is so in love with her new friend McKenna and wants to take her everywhere we have been since she came in the mail last week. I am not letting her. Dad sees what has become of her sisters dolls (Laura and Marcus once took a bath with all three) and tried to talk her into keeping hers preserved in the original box.  

Instead of a birthday party Caroline wanted to host a party for girls and their little sisters. We invited over 6 sets of sisters from our ward. The oldest girl was 6. And the youngest girl was two. Abby seen here in front.   It was completely her idea and I fought it a bit because it seemed too hard. But I knew what was best and so I supported her.  She wouldn't be getting any presents and she had to do a lot of work to get ready for it. Camille was lots of help. They decorated, stuffed goodie bags and we talked a lot about it being her job to make sure that all the girls were happy and playing nice. We thought we planned for everything. Savannah brought a friend over to help and they ran the dancing games and the treasure hunt. All together there were 19 children (including my own) running around our place for about 3 hours. The one thing we didn't account for is Brent's sudden enthusiasm to begin building a deck the weekend before. 

Six days before the party he dug about a dozen holes for his deck. They were the perfect size for toddlers to fall into. They were deep and really about the width around of a small child. Marcus had been having a great time with them all week. Falling in a couple times and the rest of the time dumping toys or frogs into the holes. 
But the party was planned and I was hoping that the parents would drop off their children at the front door and we could keep the backyard a secret. But they kept walking around from the driveway and honestly most of them didn't want to leave once they saw where the party was being held. I ran to the garage and looked for boards to cover up the holes hoping that would put the parents at ease. That just made things worse because then the kids would aim straight for these booby traps. 


You can't plan these things. Sometimes they just happen. We made it through. The next day was Saturday and Brent worked late into the night pouring concrete. 

 It's hard to be the fourth daughter. Everyone else is luckier. Life is rarely fair, everyone picks on you, and you always miss out on all the fun, and get the smallest piece of everything. Caroline points these facts out frequently and we all get tired of her feeling sorry for herself and playing family sheriff. 


It was so nice to see her transformed as she worked hard and enjoyed focusing on this little party she had. I was reminded on how I can be a better mother for her and foster her better nature. She has so much to contribute and can be so happy when we find a way to shift her focus.


She spent forever formulating a perfect wish when it came to her birthday song. We had to sing three times. Twice for the wish and once more because Marcus jumped into help blow out and she insisted that the wish wouldn't work if he helped.  


Caroline is now old enough to be baptized as a member of our church. We are waiting for our summer trip to Washington because she chose to have her Grandpa Fielding baptize her. 

Six month old Calvin

18 lbs          29 inches 

 

 His eyes lost their blue. I was so surprised. Camille, Caroline, Marcus- all Blue. Now back to brown (or possibly hazel, but definitely not blue) like the first two kids. 

                                                          

Eats 3 square meals a day and even holds and feeds himself a cracker.

Just started rolling over onto his stomach whenever I put him down. He is still much happier in my arms though then rollin free on his own though. I don't blame him for that. The cold hard floor or soft warm momma. Easy choice. 

Watching his sisters at the track meet last week. 

We love you Calvin. Thanks for all the smiles!

Happenings

 Here's half of my six on Easter Day and Calvin's first Sunday of many many more wearing a white shirt and tie.  

 He looked so adorable I put it on the next week when I took him to visit Camille's classroom and he needed to look his best. She was in the midst of her special week and it was mystery share day and she wanted to share her favorite thing in the world. She asked me to carry  Calvin in a box that she had decorated with signs like, "Special Delivery" and "Fragile". 

 Camille was cast as Tiger Lily in her school play, PETER PAN. 

 It was a rather boring role. She mostly delivered lines like "UGGA, UGGA". But she made a beautiful indian princess with her feathers and fringes parading around on stage.

Kennon spent her spring break in Washington DC with other 8th graders on a school trip. I feel like it's starting already and I don't like it. Our family is starting to break up and change from the good old days.  We had our spring break and she had hers. 

 Without Kennon around things were just fine though. We even went on a vacation without her and Dad. The other five kids and I  drove up north to the mountains of New Hampshire and stayed in a small waterpark hotel. We will definitely be back. It was only $100 for a room that included the waterpark. And it was the perfect size for a mother trying to tend a 5 month old and keep track of 4 other kids in the water. Kennon and Brent don't do so well in hotel rooms with all those kids so we just planned it with out them. 

Calvin didn't cry once the whole vacation. He gets rather bored and nervous at home all day and it was much better for him to sit on the sidelines of a waterpark then on the sidelines of my kitchen. 

There was no pool. Just three big slides that they each went up and down over a hundred times. I let them stay till 10 the first night and we were back at 8 a.m the next morning. 

And if you get want to head the other direction than the mountains there is always the sea. Take your pick.  (I love NH!)

Even if it's too cool to swim your are still at the beach, right? 

We went there a few weeks ago for Monday FHE because it was 80 degrees and it seemed like perfect beach weather.  But driving to the beach the temperature starting dropping by the minute and by the time we got there it was only 65 and quite breezy. It is always 15 degrees cooler on the coast then our house and in NH that isn't a good thing. 

After getting out we all decided it was freezing and maybe we should just leave. But Brent started tossing his football around on and we just played keep away to stay warm. Marcus doesn't like football so headed out to test the water and was soon wading in up to his chin.  Once again Calvin preferred being on the sidelines of beach ball then family home evening on the couch. It's nice to have him portable and not crawlable.  Pretty much the perfect age if you ask me. 

We went kite flying on a bright sunny day recently.  I  passed people flying them on the way home from church and suggested  it after we had lunch. We headed back out to Wagon Hill. 

 One kite and 5 kids = Not enough kites/too many fites

 Marcus finally got his turn. 

It was Sunday so Marcus is still in his button up.  He lost the tie and added the hat. 

Kennon is taking some great pictures. It's a helpful hobby because it keeps her wanting to go on family outings. She likes the opportunity to practice. 

not your typical mother's day post

Brent had a great weekend. I know, I know it was mother's day. But this was Brent's kind of weekend.

We were so happy to have some dental school buddies and their families come for the weekend. Jonas (above) the single guy is living in Bangor, Maine and Dave and Steph have been on Long Island since we parted ways in Buffalo. They met in the middle at our house. It has rained for days here but what do you know. . perfect weather for the three days they were here. 

Brent took advantage of good weather and available muscles and decided that this would be a great weekend to start in on the deck project. They thought it would be even more fun to work in matching outfits. Sometime during this day we sent them to the grocery store for hot dogs. They came back with a great story to share. 

In the grocery store they ran into one of Brent's patients. After saying hello the patient asked Brent "So . . .  this your boy?" pointing at Dave. Dave and Brent just stood there confused, trying to figure out the exact meaning of the word choice"boy".  He continued,  " I know you have like 6 kids, is this your son?" 

 Dave is 10 years younger than Brent.

The rest of the day all we heard out of Dave was "This your boy?" Then they would laugh till they cried.  

Brent took his boy out on the yard and put him to work that afternoon. Dave was feeling a little under the weather but Brent wanted to teach his boy how to work. 

So after a year we are finally embarking on our deck project. See the sliding glass door to nowhere? 

They got all the holes dug. We have plenty do before the next visit. It will be slow going without "his boy" though so no promises. 

The younger boys Crew-5, Marcus-4, Trey -3, Beck 5 months, Calvin 5 months had a great time hanging out. The babies kept us in a constant rotation of naps, nursings, and trips up and down the many flights of stairs. Every time we heard a cry from above we would guess which baby we heard. We eventually discovered we couldn't recognize our own babies cry and sometimes mixed them up even when they were awake. Brent once held Beck for five minutes singing to him before he noticed it wasn't his Calvin. Coordinating two busy napping and feeding schedules made it practically impossible to go anywhere all day.  I don't think either of us cared though. We had plenty to discuss -husbands, babies born two days apart, and the good old days in Buffalo and the days went so fast. We each got out to run once a day but couldn't even get that coordinated to go together. No pictures of our twin boys though, can you believe it?  Now they have to come back for sure.  

 The older boys loved the piles of sand that the Dad's dug up and only once so far has someone fallen in. It was Marcus of course. 

The men stayed busy working and playing in the backyard next to their sons.  Steph and Dave's boys enjoy having a backyard for a change since they are stuck in an apartment for all four years of his oral surgery residency.  Only two left.

 This is a worm house created by Marcus, Crew and Trey. Just in case  that wasn't obvious.

We had a weenie roast in the back yard and we had so much dirt on all our kids at the end of each day it was almost like camping. I gave them squirt bottles and thy chased each other around and that helped out with the dirt but not the fights.


It was so much fun and we really hope they all come back. We stayed up late and laughed hard and the boys all ended up still friends at the end. Even the big boys (Brent, Dave and Jonas) who tease each other relentlessly. We talked a lot about all the other people we like and miss from Buffalo. Richard Smith came up a lot. We wished he was here frying up Buffalo wings for us in the kitchen. He is out on a boat off the California Coast now.


So we looooove visitors! If you are a friend or family to Brent and Kashann and have ever considered coming East for travel, PLEASE know that you are so welcome. 


 And guess what Fieldings? We are having AC installed any day now so we are good to go for another family reunion I believe. That would've made all the difference wouldn't it?


Happy Mother's day to you all. I have to admit that I hate Mothers Day's since I moved away from my mom. It's not because I miss my Mom so much (though I do) but I it's that I hate how self absorbed I have become when I am the only Mom around to be spoiled.  I always end up feeling sorry for myself all day because it's pretty much like any other Sunday. The thing is it's been 16 years for us and Brent is still trying to figure out how to make his wife happy on Birthdays, Christmas's and Mother's day.


We ordered two new leather couches and they came on 
Wednesday. As he carried in couch #1 he told me, "Happy Mother's Day. This is your Mother's Day Present". Then in came couch #2 and he called out, "This is my Father's Day present, Don't worry about getting me anything." And honestly he means that. They were a lot of money and we definitely don't need to spend anything more on each other.


After 15 plus years with me though you think he'd have learned I don't want expensive gifts delegated to Mother's day.  I just want a nice note, a little bouquet, something a little more unexpected than the couch we had been waiting for the the last month.  Anyone understanding me on this one?

The thing is he is very sweet to me almost all the time so I just hate myself all day for feeling bad over grocery store $5 flower arrangements, a simple card or chocolates on holidays. Why do we have to show our love on a specific day just because the nation declared it's the day to show our love. . . right? But then friends ask or mother calls at the end of a yet another long day of Kashann pouting and asks, "So are they all spoiling you for mother's day? " . . .  and I just change the subject.


And the thing is he doesn't always miss. Once in while he catches me off gaurd and has thought enough ahead that he has something he hands me. I don't know if he's done it yet for mothers day to be specific,  (but then I'm not his mother anyway, right?) but I know for instance this year he handed me a surprise on valentines day. It was a diamond necklace.  I was so surprised/pleased I cried. I figured the tears would reinforce the "You did good" and he wouldn't ever miss again. (As a side note I took the necklace in to exchange it. It was too fancy to go with anything in my closet. I ended up just returning it and bought food storage with the money. This is not something I always do though.)


I know that I have an awesome husband who has his own way and timeline for showing his love.


 Saturday Brent gave me a haircut.  After finishing he hugged me and said, "Happy Mother's Day. It's your mother's day haircut". That really should count shouldn't it?


Or the fact that he even bought the new leather couches for me because I was so sick of our microfiber couch that I had scrubbed so many times that the fabric had disintegrated.   I made him move the ugly couch to the basement months ago even though he said it looked fine still. Then I kept dragging him furniture shopping to fill the space that I created until he finally pulled out his credit card.


He fixes every little thing around here I break or am just too lazy to learn how to get it to work. I love him for that.


And his biggest gift is I get to stay home everyday and be a mom only. I work on anything that I think is important from laundry and dishes to other stuff like painting doors spontaneously or rearranging the contents of my kitchen cabinets just because. He doesn't tell me to put my kids in day care and get a job so we can be a two income family. I love him for that. I have had the best years home with these kids and luckily many more to come since he let me have so many.  I got it all figured out don't I?   :)

So this has been very therapeutic and I think I sorted it all out. One thing I know.  No matter how much a poor husband does a wife will think it is never enough. And it is always better to count your blessings instead of compare your blessings isn't it? 


Better luck next year  I guess as far as flowers go. How do you think this post effects those chances?