not your typical mother's day post

Brent had a great weekend. I know, I know it was mother's day. But this was Brent's kind of weekend.

We were so happy to have some dental school buddies and their families come for the weekend. Jonas (above) the single guy is living in Bangor, Maine and Dave and Steph have been on Long Island since we parted ways in Buffalo. They met in the middle at our house. It has rained for days here but what do you know. . perfect weather for the three days they were here. 

Brent took advantage of good weather and available muscles and decided that this would be a great weekend to start in on the deck project. They thought it would be even more fun to work in matching outfits. Sometime during this day we sent them to the grocery store for hot dogs. They came back with a great story to share. 

In the grocery store they ran into one of Brent's patients. After saying hello the patient asked Brent "So . . .  this your boy?" pointing at Dave. Dave and Brent just stood there confused, trying to figure out the exact meaning of the word choice"boy".  He continued,  " I know you have like 6 kids, is this your son?" 

 Dave is 10 years younger than Brent.

The rest of the day all we heard out of Dave was "This your boy?" Then they would laugh till they cried.  

Brent took his boy out on the yard and put him to work that afternoon. Dave was feeling a little under the weather but Brent wanted to teach his boy how to work. 

So after a year we are finally embarking on our deck project. See the sliding glass door to nowhere? 

They got all the holes dug. We have plenty do before the next visit. It will be slow going without "his boy" though so no promises. 

The younger boys Crew-5, Marcus-4, Trey -3, Beck 5 months, Calvin 5 months had a great time hanging out. The babies kept us in a constant rotation of naps, nursings, and trips up and down the many flights of stairs. Every time we heard a cry from above we would guess which baby we heard. We eventually discovered we couldn't recognize our own babies cry and sometimes mixed them up even when they were awake. Brent once held Beck for five minutes singing to him before he noticed it wasn't his Calvin. Coordinating two busy napping and feeding schedules made it practically impossible to go anywhere all day.  I don't think either of us cared though. We had plenty to discuss -husbands, babies born two days apart, and the good old days in Buffalo and the days went so fast. We each got out to run once a day but couldn't even get that coordinated to go together. No pictures of our twin boys though, can you believe it?  Now they have to come back for sure.  

 The older boys loved the piles of sand that the Dad's dug up and only once so far has someone fallen in. It was Marcus of course. 

The men stayed busy working and playing in the backyard next to their sons.  Steph and Dave's boys enjoy having a backyard for a change since they are stuck in an apartment for all four years of his oral surgery residency.  Only two left.

 This is a worm house created by Marcus, Crew and Trey. Just in case  that wasn't obvious.

We had a weenie roast in the back yard and we had so much dirt on all our kids at the end of each day it was almost like camping. I gave them squirt bottles and thy chased each other around and that helped out with the dirt but not the fights.


It was so much fun and we really hope they all come back. We stayed up late and laughed hard and the boys all ended up still friends at the end. Even the big boys (Brent, Dave and Jonas) who tease each other relentlessly. We talked a lot about all the other people we like and miss from Buffalo. Richard Smith came up a lot. We wished he was here frying up Buffalo wings for us in the kitchen. He is out on a boat off the California Coast now.


So we looooove visitors! If you are a friend or family to Brent and Kashann and have ever considered coming East for travel, PLEASE know that you are so welcome. 


 And guess what Fieldings? We are having AC installed any day now so we are good to go for another family reunion I believe. That would've made all the difference wouldn't it?


Happy Mother's day to you all. I have to admit that I hate Mothers Day's since I moved away from my mom. It's not because I miss my Mom so much (though I do) but I it's that I hate how self absorbed I have become when I am the only Mom around to be spoiled.  I always end up feeling sorry for myself all day because it's pretty much like any other Sunday. The thing is it's been 16 years for us and Brent is still trying to figure out how to make his wife happy on Birthdays, Christmas's and Mother's day.


We ordered two new leather couches and they came on 
Wednesday. As he carried in couch #1 he told me, "Happy Mother's Day. This is your Mother's Day Present". Then in came couch #2 and he called out, "This is my Father's Day present, Don't worry about getting me anything." And honestly he means that. They were a lot of money and we definitely don't need to spend anything more on each other.


After 15 plus years with me though you think he'd have learned I don't want expensive gifts delegated to Mother's day.  I just want a nice note, a little bouquet, something a little more unexpected than the couch we had been waiting for the the last month.  Anyone understanding me on this one?

The thing is he is very sweet to me almost all the time so I just hate myself all day for feeling bad over grocery store $5 flower arrangements, a simple card or chocolates on holidays. Why do we have to show our love on a specific day just because the nation declared it's the day to show our love. . . right? But then friends ask or mother calls at the end of a yet another long day of Kashann pouting and asks, "So are they all spoiling you for mother's day? " . . .  and I just change the subject.


And the thing is he doesn't always miss. Once in while he catches me off gaurd and has thought enough ahead that he has something he hands me. I don't know if he's done it yet for mothers day to be specific,  (but then I'm not his mother anyway, right?) but I know for instance this year he handed me a surprise on valentines day. It was a diamond necklace.  I was so surprised/pleased I cried. I figured the tears would reinforce the "You did good" and he wouldn't ever miss again. (As a side note I took the necklace in to exchange it. It was too fancy to go with anything in my closet. I ended up just returning it and bought food storage with the money. This is not something I always do though.)


I know that I have an awesome husband who has his own way and timeline for showing his love.


 Saturday Brent gave me a haircut.  After finishing he hugged me and said, "Happy Mother's Day. It's your mother's day haircut". That really should count shouldn't it?


Or the fact that he even bought the new leather couches for me because I was so sick of our microfiber couch that I had scrubbed so many times that the fabric had disintegrated.   I made him move the ugly couch to the basement months ago even though he said it looked fine still. Then I kept dragging him furniture shopping to fill the space that I created until he finally pulled out his credit card.


He fixes every little thing around here I break or am just too lazy to learn how to get it to work. I love him for that.


And his biggest gift is I get to stay home everyday and be a mom only. I work on anything that I think is important from laundry and dishes to other stuff like painting doors spontaneously or rearranging the contents of my kitchen cabinets just because. He doesn't tell me to put my kids in day care and get a job so we can be a two income family. I love him for that. I have had the best years home with these kids and luckily many more to come since he let me have so many.  I got it all figured out don't I?   :)

So this has been very therapeutic and I think I sorted it all out. One thing I know.  No matter how much a poor husband does a wife will think it is never enough. And it is always better to count your blessings instead of compare your blessings isn't it? 


Better luck next year  I guess as far as flowers go. How do you think this post effects those chances?