So back to my needing a break. Parenting has recently become pretty intense for Brent and I. The hardest thing of all is that there no break from it now. The older ones go to bed so late, the younger ones wake up so early AND Even when you finally get them all into their beds every night you still have to lay awake and talk about how worried you are about them for hours.
Back in the early days when it was just the two of us we used to play a couple hands of UNO or Backgammon -best of seven at night before bed. The old days of Brent and Kashann are so gone. There is no way we would play card games after the kids go to bed. That is just not happening. 6 kids zap it out of us. Our children span the complete spectrum of worries. For instance Baby Calvin had a fever today. Is he finally teething or could he have an ear infection? Kennon NEEDS a new dress because it's 8th grade semi this week and all the 14 year old girls in town have little strapless formals and boyfriends and think they are headed to the prom. Savannah will never smile at us again unless she gets her IPOD touch back.
And we are going to have a teenager under our roof for the next 18 years. It is going to do us in.
The ones in the middle require less discussion at night currently .
Camille is so easy still. Will she really be keeping us up at night in a couple years? No way! Not Camille. She's different. She's incorruptible.
And Caroline and Marcus are just the epitome of the scripture to become like a little child. Oblivious to other people's opinions and just so happy to be alive.Besides worrying about the welfare of 6 children I also have such a hard time living in a house with all these people that I ultimately have to pick up after. It drives me nuts on a minute to minute basis. I just bustle from room to room getting angrier and angrier because I just can't get to it all and I can't stand seeing the disarray. Messes make me REALLY grumpy. Order and Neatness make me sooo happy and I can't seem to find happiness without them.
I made several goals today and I thought about posting little signs all over the house that say: Be positive. Be happy. Show love. Those are hard things to do when you are overworked, under appreciated and living in what I consider A MESS.
I also thought about making a large sign that reads Happy Chaos.
Why can't I just embrace chaos and see it as a natural stage of our lives right now?
I often think of my niece Natasha. She found out a year ago that her 2 year old daughter, Clara had neuroblastoma and needed to be in a hospital for major treatment. The hospital wasn't even in town. They were separated from their other 4 kids for months while one parent was constantly by her side and others helped out at home. She often said how much she wished that she could be home in the chaos of laundry, lessons, homework, dishes and children. All the things that I am complaining about because my life is just too good right now.
I also need a sign that says Be Grateful.
I know that the saying is true, "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."
So I am journaling all this to remind myself to quit going crazy and complaining and love my life a little more.
I will leave you with Calvin. Kennon took these a couple weeks ago and I love them all.
9 comments:
I have one baby, and I already feel the way that you are feeling!!! I can't imagine having six! I feel like all I do all day in pick up messes and do laundry. How is it possible that I clean the kitchen five times a day and there are only three of us living here? I really don't know how you do it, Kashann!!! Hang in there! I am considering making a sign to hang by my sink (where I will see it often) featuring one of my favorite Deborah Tilley-isms: "I'm too blessed to be stressed." It's easier said than done, though.
That does sound stressful! I am already nervous to raise teenagers. I am sure you are doing great at it!
Hang in there mama!! If you adopted me as I have previously requested, I promise I would help with the chores :) You're doing such a wonderful job and you've got a lot on your plate-- maybe you need a couple minutes to yourself everyday-- like five. Lock yourself in the bathroom and read. Or pray. Meditate. Paint your toe nails. Everyone will survive without your five minutes without you--and the mess isn't going anywhere-- it'll be there when you get out of your time out.
Turn the shower on to drowned out any child sounds.
Kashann you look so good in that picture with Brent. You guys are great role models. I love this post. Hilarious.
It's true what you said. It is all about perspective. I loved reading your pep talk to yourself. The honesty is awesome. :) You are a wonderful mother. I can tell by just reading what you write here.
I've always kind of thought of you as superwoman, so it's kind of a relief to see you're human after all. Eighteen years with teenagers may seem like a long time, but it's gone in the blink of an eye. I think you're doing a fabulous job!
Oh, Kashann- I know!! We only have 3 kids and I find it quite the handfull! Teenage years have certainly had their drama and challenges! And the older kids stay up way later than we do- especially in the summer! I'm sure you've got it together more than you think!
Sue Ashead
Oh I hear ya on this. And I only have three teeny ones right now. I'm so worried about EVERYTHING I can't even imagine when they are teenagers - I'm already worried about them as teenagers! Oh the chaos & the mess. And the exhaustion. I keep trying to tell myself that when we are old & alone & bored then we will have a really clean house & sleep all we want to make up for the crazy now. I'm just trying to enjoy it all now before it's gone & we are the old people in the grocery store telling new moms to "enjoy it because it goes by all too quickly!" Loved this post so much! Love you!!! You're doing a great job with your kids!
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