Our River

We have a surprise for Daddy when he comes back from his long weekend. 

Hopefully Dad likes it because Marcus and all of his sisters are mad at me. "I want my hair back."  the kid said after looking in the mirror. Sorry, Buzz it's gone.

"Can I have some more?" 

He worked on this stuff for a whole year ( I buzzed it last April) and finally had enough for a great mohawk and now it's all gone. Sorry, but I just couldn't handle how wispy it was and just got out the clippers when all the kids were glued on the computer or TV and no one was looking. And we got a jump start on the summer.

Yes, my pictures suddenly got bigger! Kennon convinced me it was the way to go. But this is also a really big hill, especially for these parts. We have a hard time finding any hills around town and so we were really excited when we ran into this one today. 

It is on Squaw Island. We walked over a train bridge about a mile from our house and. . .  Voila! There it was. Now we are just sad that we didn't explore this island earlier. We had biked down there a couple months after moving in and planned to come back all the time and then never made it that far again.  It's so much better than the river walk by our house which is adjacent to the freeway and so noisy you can't even carry on a conversation. This island is separated from the freeway by a canal and is nice and peaceful. 

I keep thinking, "Have we taken full advantage of this river we live on?" We have sailed it, swam it (from the boat) and walked, biked, roller-bladed by it a dozens of times but it's just so great and it seems like somehow we should have enjoyed it more. I am a little crazy when it comes to living by water. My favorite would be a large pond for canoeing in my backyard but I will settle for the Niagara in the meantime. Luckily, waterfront property came pretty cheap in Buffalo.

This whole excursion came about because I told the girls I was going for a long walk and would see them in an hour. It's the first day of Spring Break and after a long weekend without Brent around I was ready for MY break. But they all insisted on coming along. We are racing along near the Peace Bridge to Canada here.

 

Wow! He is looking really bald again isn't he?

I love it!
Maybe you grow confused after living with a bald man for so many years.

We stopped too often to smell the flowers and never made it to our goal- the Peace Bridge.

Squaw Island! Who would've known?

I almost forgot to post the update on what my husband has been up to lately. Early Saturday morning he made off with our van, a couple cushions off the couch, Savannah's infamous sleeping bag, and my kitchen pot. He also threw in his torch.

??

 He only planned to visit a couple practices this trip, but they weren't exactly in the same direction. After spending the day in Pennsylvania with a dentist ready and hoping to turn things over to Brent,  he left late Saturday night in the direction of Dover NH.
Brent was loving it I am sure. No family hollering in the back seat for McDonalds. No need to stop at a hotel.  He had a sweet set up in the back seat when Mountain Dew wouldn't do the trick any longer.  This is the way this man likes to roll and would everytime if we would put up with it.

And where do the pot and torch come in? You can't expect him to show up at a quality interview without a good sponge bath in the back seat. Thank goodness for tinted windows. Aye, yi, yi.


And "technically" he spent the night at the Comfort Inn. . . in the parking lot. You have to be prepared to give honest answers during your interview and that one always comes up, "So where are you staying?"

Brent please stop giving out my blog address to your prospective employers. This is my blog and as you can see I refuse to censor it. 

These are the Fielding girls in July of last year. Mother, 4 daughters and two daughters in law. Four out of six of these women were pregnant earlier this week. The other two sisters Candice and I will definitely not be joining the fun of 2010, though I think we are both a little jealous. Candice had one just last year though, so she has an excuse.



I don't know what mine is though. My youngest is almost, practically, just about, soon to be potty trained.

As you know, Ciana,



had a baby in her car earlier one week ago today. I'm still trying to wrap my head around how that all goes down and what you actually do once you pull up at the hospital. . . and what you wear into the hospital, etc.

Then, Alainna surprised us and went into labor 2 weeks early yesterday. She had plenty of time to make it to the hospital and had one of those boring old sterile deliveries in a hospital bed.

Just the day before the early labor started she got this homemade quilt in the mail for baby Johnathon. Talk about perfect timing. I made it several weeks ago, but it was so pretty I had a hard time giving it up once I finished it, and briefly contemplated making a new one since this one went so well, at the bottom of my bed.



Congratulations to Alainna and Stephen and Welcome to Jonathon 8 lbs. 2 oz!

Only kidding about the boring part Alainna. Believe me after 5 I know that each time I visit the hospital it is anything but boring. Ciana was just a tough act to follow, wasn't she?

And how is the van clean up coming along Ciana and Dave?

I just keep thinking about our van last summer and the bloody beef that almost finished it off.

Baking soda. Lots and lots of baking soda.

A very exciting birth

My sister, Ciana who lives in California just called me at 5:30 a.m. her time. She is the sister who coached me through my last labor encouraging me to stay home as long as possible, so you don't have to sit around the hospital too long waiting. Much more exciting to just have a mad dash. I listened to her and stayed home until I could no longer stand it. As a result I had the most scary painful labor ever. I think Marcus would've been born at least an hour earlier if I had got some medical attention and saved myself that last hour of agony. No hard feelings Ciana. It's over now.

She called me before 6 a.m. this morning because she had just had her baby 12 days early and. . . IN HER CAR on the way to the hospital. They pulled over because she could no longer obey her husband's instructions to stop pushing. He pulled over just in time. The baby was out in no time, and they then continued their drive to the hospital with her new son in her arms.

Oh, my! I can't even imagine.

So mad dashes are not all they are cracked up to be. Having a slow, careful, boring old labor in the hospital may just be the way to go after all. (Ciana is as tough as they come though. She told me this morning that it wasn't that bad.)

Congratulations to Ciana and Dave and their new son! She now has 5 like I do.

Now, Good luck to Alainna! She is my other sister having a baby this month.

Marcus earns a marshmallow

Marcus just ate a half a pack of gum, that he found in my purse, in two minutes flat. I picked up the empty pack and stared down at him long and hard. He knew he was caught.

He gulped the large wad down in guilt and looked me right in the eyes and said,

"It was an accident, Mom"


It reminded me of yesterday evening when Brent taught the family home evening lesson. He used a marshmallow demonstration that he picked up at the Priestbood session of General Conference last weekend.

He got two marshmallows out of a bag then sat Marcus down at the table. One marshmallow was placed in front of his son and then he carefully explained to him that Dad didn't want him to eat the marshmallow for one minute. If he waited then he would give him the other one in his hand and he could eat both.

The time began and I made Brent a bet that he would never make it. It didn't take long for him start squeezing it and then lifting it part way to his open mouth. It really was a hard thing Dad was asking of him. Finally 9 seconds short of the minute he could no longer stand it and it disappeared between his lips.

No sooner was that one gone and he was reaching out for the second one Dad was holding. He was pretty sad when he was reminded that he couldn't get it because he didn't wait.

Caroline also loves marshmallows AND ATTENTION so she wanted to try next. She had no problem and he even made her wait for 3 minutes. Marcus watched the whole thing unfold and the second marshmallow rewarded, and was determined to have another go.

Okay, he would get that chance, but this time his Dad wanted him to wait for two minutes. So we started in. Every 15 seconds he would lose his resolve and start lifting the marshmallow off the table. We had all been instructed to be silent and not coach him either way, but Caroline, across the table, couldn't help herself. She kept one finger in front of her, and each time the marshmallow started to go in, she starting wagging her finger at him. Small enough that Dad off to the side could hardly see, but Marcus took note of Caroline's warning. Finally the two minutes passed and we exploded in congratulations. As soon as he heard our cheers, he popped that thing into his mouth so fast we hardly saw it happen.

After this we had a lesson on the fact that good things come to those who wait. Dad taught us that we should never give into immediate gratification and loose out on the blessings of waiting until the right time. That can apply to a lot of things don't you think?

I really felt like we were being taught from the Master. Any 40 year old who is willing to sport his mother's 17 year old buick around during the prime years of his life is the perfect person to teach us this lesson.

A Happy Easter

We love our Egg hunts around here. And with the 70 degree weather we had a real one. . .Outside. We have been snowed in way too many Easters and I think eggs are so much more fun to find in tree houses and bushes than couch cushions and bookcases.



Marcus insists on being either a cowboy or a farmer boy (He wore overalls for the Egg hunt) every day lately. He has some red boots, and horse but no cowboy can ride without a cowboy hat. A couple times a day he goes looking for his cowboy hat. He tells me, on his way down the basement stairs, "Mom, I'm looking for my cowboy hat." Then a couple minutes later after scavenging, he hollers up the stairs, "I can't find my cowboy hat". Somebody please buy that cowboy a hat. He must have dreamed he had one.



Once all the eggs were found the younger ones sat down at the table and devoured all of the contents in one sitting. One of my kids favorite egg fillers is goldfish. My children eat it like candy so I just treat it as such and give it to them for special occasions.

Kennon got the best Easter surprise. When I dumped out our plastic eggs from the Easter Tub that has been sitting in my basement for the last year her ipod tumbled out. So we hid it along with the rest of the loot. Later in the day I spied her cellphone in her Easter basket among her eggs. Will she ever learn?



Before we had an egg hunt we had a morning devotional and sang Easter hymns together. We are becoming quite the choir now that we have a piano accompanist and can do three part harmony. I have so many memories of standing around the piano singing with my family while my mother played. A few years ago I was so worried that my family would never have that. . . But thanks to Kennon's diligence. . . WE DO. (I still don't feel like I can legally say I am a piano player even though I accompany the primary every week. I was hoping to be so much better by now) After singing Brent told the kids the Real Easter story. They went to bed way too excited about an Easter Bunny. We don't do anything but a plastic egg hunt but like I said it is pretty exciting for these goldfish deprived children.


We had plenty of time for egg hunts because there would be no running off early morning to church meetings as it was General Conference Weekend and we have a Salt Lake Broadcast instead of regular local meetings. Here on the East Coast the 4 hour broadcast doesn't even start till noon Saturday and Sunday. Our Conference weekends have just gotten better and better as our children have gotten older and gotten used to the tradition. Now our three older children sit, snuggle up with us and listen to all 8 hours with us. It really is an amazing thing to me. They can hardly sit through an hour of Sacrament meeting talks every Sunday yet they are able to sit and listen for two straight hours at a time without complaint! And if you can get them to sit and listen, they begin to love it as much as you do. It is so wonderful to hear so many powerful testimonies of Jesus Christ. We had zero fights in our home this weekend as a result and that NEVER happens. After listening, I am determined to be a better Christian to my friends, neighbors, ward members and especially my family. Listening to our Prophet and apostles has left me completely filled with joy and peace.

It is so crazy to me that although I am definitely anxious I feel no fear of our unknown future. We have NO IDEA where which direction we will be pointing that moving van when we are kicked out of our home in less than 2 months.

I received notice that the inspection had gone well and the buyers are satisfied. Now that is a miracle, yet does create a bit of a problem too. I filled out some paperwork for our lawyer and one question required was New Address??? Brent told me to write HOMELESS. . .so I did.

I might add Unemployed to that also. At this point though we are chuckling about the two terms and they aren't all that worrisome. I do on occasion press Brent on this issue. Like "Where are we gonna go if we are still stewing over this on May 25th?". He just tells me that it's all going to work out. Suitable employment will be found. . . Eventually.

He also reminded me that it will be summer time and we do have a tent. I suggested he start doing Internet searches for large fields next to Wi-fi McDonald's. This sounds like a joke but technically it could work right? I've lived in a trailer, then the hood, now a tent. We'll just call it camping. We all love camping.

April Fools

Our home inspection is tomorrow morning and we are nervous. The buyer is qualified as a first time home buyer and and has an FHA loan. Yesterday we were warned that FHA inspectors are really picky about stuff like mold and peeling paint. It has to be perfect for them to pass it off. And since "we" opted not to pay for an inspection when "we" bought the home . . Who knows what they will find.

So Brent suddenly had a big list this morning. And he's totally willing to do it all himself . . . but he will be in clinic all day and has an elder's quorum visit and basketball this evening.

So it happens to be a sunny 70 degrees outside for the first time in 5 months and Marcus had a easter egg hunt scheduled. . . but I am down in the basement all day painting the walls to hide what may be mold.

One of Marcus's favorite sayings is "April Fools!" He says silly things to us and then says, April Fools so we know that he knows that it's joke. Or sometimes he says it when he is in trouble hoping we are just kidding and he really isn't going to get a spank.

My children LOVE April Fools. Savannah has been on the internet doing research for days in preparation. It is really annoying to have some many saboteurs around the house. Camille is still trying to figure it out. She had worm holes cut in our bowl of apples, messages written on the toilet paper roll, and I caught her dumping salt into orange juice I had just mixed for breakfast. Savannah had been busy starting off the day by smearing vaseline around the bathroom.

By 7:30 a.m. Brent declared that there would be "No more tricks in this house". But just before that Savannah had put a bowl of flour on the table in place of powdered sugar, for sprinkling on our German Pancakes. I decided to let it pass, though I did kindly warn each child when they got the bowl to go easy on the sugar. Savannah took her plate into the kitchen and helped her self to the real powdered sugar. She had just sat down when Kennon came down complaining that there was vaseline all over the faucet. Brent lost it then and sent Savannah upstairs to clean it up.

A minute later, Kennon had piled a couple tablespoons of "powdered sugar" on her breakfast and was just about to dig in. Brent saw Savannah coming down the stairs and suddenly had an idea. He switched Kennon and Savannah's plates and motioned for Kennon to be quiet. Kennon wasn't going along quietly though suspecting that somehow she was being tricked. She kept hollering that she wanted her food back, even as Savannah dug in, and Brent repeatedly tried to give her a signal to hold her tounge.

Meanwhile Savannah ate most of her pancakes while Kennon went on and on about how she wanted her food back now. Somehow Savannah was enjoying her food so much she had no idea that she was involved in this latest trick. Once she had licked up the last of her flour Brent fessed up who had the flour and who had the sugar and Kennon was suddenly laughing with us. Camille and Caroline were enjoying their food and were oblivious to the drama unfolding at our table. Both even had seconds with more flour while we busted up.

So apparently there is no need to put a big scoop of powdered sugar on top of your syrupy pancakes. I am glad that Savannah demonstrated that so well and I will leave it off the table in the future.

I don't think this is very funny for the rest of you, but I just had to include it since it was so much fun for us.

And HA, HA! Brent just now called after choking on a special sandwich I prepared for his lunch today.

It worked awesome and luckily he was eating with friends so they all had a good laugh at his expense and one of them even sent me a picture just now. Thanks Dave for the pic and thank you Michelle in El Paso for the good idea. April Fools :)

We were just driving by

What were we doing at Hampton Beach in NH last Saturday? Vacationing 1 month before graduation? No. Just Trying to figure our lives out.

I love all these excuses for a vacation. But when will it end? Too many leads. Way too many possibilities.

During the 8.5 hour drive there and back we took turns reading out of a book I found in our library. "The 4-Hour Work Week". by Timothy Ferriss. Pretty strange reading choice when you are 40 and just starting your career-but interesting none the less.

One thing we stumbled across was some info the author presented from Barry Schwartz 2004 classic -The Paradox of Choice: Why more is less.

Here are the main principles.

The more options you consider the more buyer's regret you'll have.
The more options you encounter the less fulfilling your ultimate outcome will be.

He pointed out that considering options costs attention that can't be spent on action.
Therefore:

Too many choices =Less or no productivity (uh, oh! check)
Too many choices= and Sense of Overwhelm (Whoah! check)

So, it Definitely sounds like we have ruined our chances of ever finding happiness now. What were we thinking crisscrossing the country exploring so many options? Just looking for the perfect one, you know. But in the meantime stacking up way too many "what if's?"

So just like that we are done. No more family vacations/ career explorations/ward shopping long weekends. (We saw the Atlantic Ocean and toured a witch museum in Salem Mass this trip.) As much as I love the chance to see something new and check out the latest career possibility, (not to mention trap my husband in a car with me for several days and have his undivided unattention) I am going to force myself to kiss him goodbye and assess the situation on his own. We had already decided this coming home from on our last trip. But then the Dr. kept telling us how important it was to see both of us at the interview because this was a family decision and we caved.

Even the evening before we left Brent was having second thoughts about taking us all along. "Why am I taking all of you guys again? I think I am just going to throw Savannah's sleeping bag in the buick and take off in the morning."

To which Savannah replied, "No way, Dad. Last time you borrowed my sleeping bag you brought it home filled with fish!" (It was a perfect insulator for all the halibut Brent brought home from Alaska.)

After this weekend, Savannah is more than happy to trade her sleeping bag in exchange for not being included on these road trips. She was dragged along against her will to babysit once again while we met the Dr. and toured the office. These things used to be fun because they involved hotel swim pools, and lots of McDonald's drive thru's (yuck) but it's getting harder to please these spoiled kids who have spent way too many days on the road lately.




I never knew that we were such picky people. I thought we could live anywhere. Why is this so difficult?

It's not like we are just driving into towns and deciding that they aren't good enough for us. Almost all of the places have seemed nice enough for me. Many times almost perfect. But then there is have been a few nagging things about the practice that just don't seem optimal.

This latest opportunity in NH really only had one major concern and if that one can be worked out. . then this may be the one we go with.. . for now anyway. This is for an associateship (no buying in) so no stressing about putting down permanent roots someplace.

Unfortunately, the ward was the smallest we have visited yet. Wow! Why do we always stick out so much? I had to haul Marcus out twice just for singing a few little songs, just because it was that dead quiet in the chapel.

We did it!

We sold our home! (The contract is signed but I won't breathe too easy until after her inspector makes sure it is worth what she is paying for it.)

It all went down pretty much like Brent planned it four years ago. Buy a cheap home, fix it up and if you are lucky -double your money in four years. Brent called me at the end of March, four years ago from Buffalo and said, "Congratulations! You own a home."

This call came after a previous 2 minute call the following evening in which he said, "I am looking at a house tomorrow morning. Here's the address. Check it out on line. Gotta go, bye!" I looked up the $30,000 home and read that it was 875 square feet! I tried calling Brent back all night but was unable to reach him on his turned off emergency phone. What I was going to say was, "No, Brent. That house is way too small and it looks pretty bad. It's not going to work."

But the papers were signed before I even had that chance to weigh in. Then two weeks later I got to see it for the first time. It was full of all the people's stuff. They had died and no one in the family cared enough about them to claim anything. And "we" had agreed to keep it all. "We" also had thought nothing of the yellow walls and smoke contamination. "We" also overlooked the smell of cat. There was even a room just for their cat. It's now Kennon and Savannah's room but in the beginning we just called it the cat room.
After the short stinky tour, I went down to the basement to have a good cry where no one could see. Then I just got to work like any good supportive wife would. The first month, we all slept in one bedroom so we could take the rest of the house apart. Every night as we tucked the kids in, I wiped their feet clean because they were completely black from walking around our home.

Anyway, I am going to stop the story here because it could go on and on. The point is that Brent bought a bargain house and we all just dealt with it for the first few months. It was a ton of work but also kind of fun when I kept myself from becoming overwhelmed. I learned that I love remodeling. Building walls, painting - all things that I became expert at.

So I now want to take back all the times I complained and questioned my husband's judgment. This was a perfect house for our family.

Or Do I just think it was perfect because I have four years of memories here -good and bad? Probably that.

One thing I know. We are gonna look back on these days in the hood just like our days in the trailer. The good old days. . .



When a big sailboat once took up our entire front yard.


When no winter was complete with out getting snowed in at least once.


When everyone but Mom and Marcus had to go to school everyday.



When every kid in the neighborhood would line up to have a dip in our trashcan on a hot summer day.

Now aren't you all just DYING to know where the man is going to take us next? I know I am.

The closing date is May 25th. tick, tick, tick

Palmyra NY Temple

Kennon got to go help out at the temple for the first time last Friday night. A couple times a year they plan a trip for the youth. Since Kennon just turned 12 she was invited. They had extra room in the back of the van so I came along. Kennon is the only kid her age in the group and so she was happy to have me.

It is such a beautiful temple located near the Sacred Grove where Joseph Smith saw and spoke with our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ. All Christians would love to visit the Holy Land in Jerusalem and walk where Jesus walked. And Mormons also want to visit the Holy Land in Western New York.

This is one of the reasons I was so excited that we chose to come to Buffalo NY for dental school. The interesting thing I have found since moving here though is how few people around Buffalo even know this story. A month after we moved in, Kennon invited a neighbor girl to a church activity and I was explaining to her mother that we were Mormons. She had heard the name but knew nothing about the Mormon's good or bad. So I told her about a spot nearby and what we believed occurred there less than 200 years ago. I told her that my family once drove thousands of miles when I was about Kennon's age so we could visit this spot.


Since then, I've always remembered what it felt like to be in a place that something so wonderful had occurred. It's a pretty incredible story. Many people don't believe in modern day miracles and visitations. It's easier to believe in the ancient miracles in the Bible but when it comes to our day, it sounds too crazy to be true.

But it is at the heart of Mormonism. You can't be a mormon if you don't believe it's true. And if it is -Wow! The whole world would want to know right? God still speaks to man.

Just a few years ago they built a temple there. A temple is a place that we go to ensure that our family relationships will go on after this life. That's why it was so wonderful to be there with Kennon, my daughter.



Also, We had a lot of screaming at our house last night at 8:04 p.m. Brent got an email that confirmed that he had passed his final NERB exam, a practical one he took this weekend with patients. He also finished up all his required CPU's last week so nothing left at all to do now but keep his patients happy and coast through the last month of dental school.

So many people (1/3 of his class) failed this last exam over really nit picky minor stuff. What a pain to take it again for all of them when they were so close to being done. It could of been us pretty easily Brent tells me. According to Brent the entire last four years, he is always one step away from failing everything. Somehow he did several things right though because he is soon to be a real DR. I am super happy for him and can't believe the whole thing is almost over. It flew so fast for me. Maybe because he did all the work.

Did everyone take advantage of St. Patrick's Day and mix up a spinach shake for breakfast for your little leprechauns? It was perfect. Didn't even need the green dye.

Here's what I put in mine today. I never measure so these are all guesses.
First the spinach. I fill the blender 1/4 full of it.

6 Frozen strawberries
1 Frozen banana
1/2 a mango
1 cup orange juice
6 ice cubes
1/2 cup plain yogurt
1 1/2 Tbsp. sugar

Just don't forget the spinach. Everything else is optional. Sometimes I put in an peeled apple, frozen blueberries, pineapple. Whatever I have.


Brent told me this morning that he just has a little over a month till he is out of school. What? I just figured he went until his May 8th graduation but I guess he's done April 28th. That gives him about 10 days between the last day and graduation to make a major decision. Should be plenty of time. Our deadlines just keep getting pushed back. Before long we will be saying as long as we figure it out over the summer. By then all the other dental grads will have already raked in a few months paychecks.

I called the kids school to talk to them about getting the kids out early since their school year doesn't finish up till June 23rd!!! And there is no way they we are wanting to just hang out till then just for field trips, ceremonies, field days, and awards. They told me that it was no problem, but then asked the typical question that everyone seems to want know these days.

"So where are you going?"

"Oh, We don't know where we are going. We're just. . . you know, done. So we are outta here"

It's pretty weird to put your house up for sale, and tell everyone you're moving, when you don't have any place to move to.

Nothing feels right yet. But, I don't think it ever really will until we do it. That's what happens to you when you don't go back home. The unknown is never comfortable and safe.

But what else can you do when there are 20 dentists in your old stake? And the fact that none of them needs an associate is pretty telling that it might not be a good place to set up shop.

Brent had a discussion with one of the doctors at the dental school, a couple days ago. He told him he was thinking about purchasing a practice in a smaller town in Pennsylvania.

This is what followed:'

"Why there? Do you know anyone there? How do you know you are going to like it there? What if you don't? Then what are ya gonna do?"

Talk about voicing all our fears. That is the last thing we need right now.

One reason I am fairly confident that we can just pick a random spot on the map and settle there is because we are Mormons. He doesn't understand that because he isn't. Our lives center on our family and our church. Once you move somewhere the Mormon church puts you right to work. Before long you are swamped with responsibility and obligations. You don't have a second to stop and think what am I doing here because you are needed.

And yes we are deserting so much family by going off on our own. But a family support group of 7 ain't bad either. It's a lot more local support than many people have in these small towns in the northeast.

So I know I am rambling but I am just trying to come to terms with my life and where it is heading.

Happy St. Patricks Day!

Brent's final spring break. . .

. . has been really nice. No cruise this year. But we also didn't have to work on the house all week like the first two spring breaks in dental school. It feels so good to have it all done. I can barely remember now how bad it was. Now if only we can get the thing sold.

I cleaned it really well and we took off last Saturday, packed for a road trip in the Buick. I was so excited to clean the house and walk away. It is brutal trying to make a house of seven looked unlived in multiple times a week. We took along the only three that are interested in Buick road trips. These kids were actually excited about our 2100 mile road trip.





I brought along a ball of yarn and they made fruit loop necklaces until they were out, then played go fish with the yarn over the front seat for snacks or other random items to keep them entertained. I thought of that idea myself halfway through Tennessee. It makes the candy last a lot longer.

We visited four seperate practices from here to Georgia and spent countless hours more stopping off at other locations that looked interesting enough to consider living in for the next 25 years or so.



Everytime we passed a McDonald's we pulled off the freeway and borrowed their internet. It was a little too much for the kids to take when they were getting by on fruit loops in the back seat so once in a while we bought them an ice cream cone.





This beautiful lake is near Morristown, Tn and the LDS church sits on a hill above the lake with affordable beautiful homes all round it. It was tempting enough to spend about 12 hours there exploring the possibilties.

The reality that we are going to purchase a practice AND put down permanent roots somewhere is really setting in. A few months ago it was just talk and I was excited but now I sometimes break down and cry about it. It is looking like we will be far from home.

Four years away was no big deal. Buffalo was easy to like because it was short term. Now we are talking about our future. I keep being haunted by something that my sister in law said after they settled in Texas after law school. They had loved being on their own all through law school on the other side of the country. But now that they were in the real world it just didn't feel right. They lasted a couple years then quit his high paying job and moved back to Washington. And they are very happy. So hopefully this doesn't happen to us because we will be significantly more STUCK in our situation. It's not just about quitting and taking another bar when you buy a dental practice.

But then I am also so excited to do something big like this. We are going to be pioneers just like our parents, settling a new land for our family. And it is really fun shopping. Everyone keeps asking us our plans and acting like we need to decide right now. Brent's yearbook staff has emailed him repeatedly to please notify them of his after graduation plans. He finally sent them an email that read, "Private Practice. Continental US".

So that is where we are at, about 7 weeks before graduation. Getting closer, but nervous and still not convinced 100% that we have found "the ONE" yet. I keep reminding myself that no place is perfect. Not even Sola Saloo, on the banks of the beautiful river Wahoo.

I have looked at so many towns that sound like paradise on line. And they do look so pretty driving by. But once you pull off the freeway and get down in them you find out all they are is just a town. Nothing feels like heaven on earth. They still have their slums and garbage areas.

So my point is I am realizing that really we just need to pick a place and make the best of it. Happiness is going to come from within our house. Not from without.

How Marcus spent his 2nd Birthday

I tried doing a birthday photo shoot down by our river. He was way too excited to pose.
I am going to have to go back though. This was a good spot for pictures. But way too cold.
I tried unsuccessfully to edit out my hair.
Savannah made Marcus this road map for his cars out of an old roller blind I was throwing out. Notice the Target?
Marcus loves movies, books, coloring, listening to music -he is so easy to hang out with everyday.

We have way too much cake at our house tonight. I ate dessert for the first time since last Thursday. Totally not worth breaking the diet for green frosting. The three younger girls decorated this jungle cake after I frosted it. I was pretty impressed.

Marcus liked all his free presents. We have a local thrift store that gives all their donated books away for free. The horse wasn't completely free. It cost me a couple bucks. He couldn't decide what was more exciting, new books or a horse, so he settled for both at once.

Marcus is probably my smartest 2 year old and I have had some smart ones. He has so many mothers and they all insist on teaching him non-stop. One of my favorite things he likes to say is, "Shall we go to the Mall, Mom?" "Or Shall we go to Target?" Yeah, we have some pretty good times while everyone else is off at school. Lots of lovely dates together. I am so grateful to have Marcus around all day long. It is Always fun.

It is so hard to have my baby turn two. When Kennon turned two I was so excited that she was getting older and looked forward to all the things she would be able to do soon. With Marcus I am just so sad that he isn't officially a baby anymore. I am halfway through my 30's and I don't mind getting old at all. I think it's great. But my babies? I really want them to stop growing up on me.

Brent's brother Ben took this last summer. He said it is proof that Brent is meant to be a dentist. He loves torturing people.

Marcus is smiling, though. He loved it. He used to bring us a squirt bottle all the time begging us to spray him right in the face. Pretty weird kid.

This weekend our house was shown for the first time to a potential buyer. Meanwhile we were participating in our own showing. Brent and I were in Pennsylvania again. Not interviewing for a job like last time we were there, but exploring the option of purchasing a practice. We both loved the retiring dentist and his office manager wife. They would both work for the practice for a couple years so we needed to hit it off. I also loved the whole set up of the town. The high school, junior high, and grade school all together and only 5 minutes from the church. Brent's office is only 10 minutes away. It is a beautiful place and has the green rolling hills we've been looking for. I imagined the green part actually. It snowed the whole time we were there.

The dentist is so busy and has more patients than he can handle. Now this is exactly what we have been looking for. We even had someone at the church there tell us, "A dentist is a hard thing to come by around here." Now that's what we want to hear.

So we found a awesome practice in a beautiful area with a need for a good dentist. But who knows what will happen? I have driven through and pictured myself now in so many towns. One of these times it will be it. But it is hard to stop shopping and settle. We are planning on checking one out in Georgia in the next couple weeks too. So as you can see we are pretty open as far as location. We just want to find the best opportunity. I do wish that we could find a good opportunity close to our old home in Washington but so far we haven't had any luck.

We had a lot of sickness in our house last week and finally seemed to be getting over it on the weekend. But then Marcus threw up all over himself in the car, right before we dropped them all off at the hotel to meet with the Dr. Before going in, Brent said, "Let's not say anything about having sick kids. We don't want them worrying about getting sick from us."

We had been there about an hour standing up talking when suddenly I started to feel very thirsty. I felt like I was dying for a drink. This feeling lasted about 2 minutes, and I was considering interrupting and asking for a glass of water. Before I made up my mind about this, I suddenly started feeling extremely light headed. My vision was starting to blur and I knew that I couldn't stand there much longer. I have passed out 3 times in my life. I could feel it coming on. But what was I suppossed to say? I had been fine for an hour and suddenly I am going to faint? What kind of first impression is fainting while touring the office? A bad one I am pretty sure. Finally, with no choice left, I started walking heading to a bathroom I saw around the corner, mumbling as I passed that I wasn't feeling well. By the time I sat down I couldn't see at all, my face was completely white, and I was as sick as could be. But I hadn't fainted. I sat in that bathroom for about 5 minutes trying to figure out what had happened to me. She brought me a drink and I finally felt well enough to move to a more comfortable seat, a reclining patient chair.

I finally mentioned that my kids had been sick earlier and maybe I was coming down with something. But it didn't seem like the flu. It was just so weird. I felt so weak. . .like I had really low blood SUGAR. . . and suddenly Brent suggested that was it. I was trying to kick a sugar addiction and had quit sugar cold turkey about 36 hours before. The first day was torture and I felt nervous all day to have some chocolate. But by the next day I had no cravings. . . but maybe it was way too drastic for my body. She brought me an energy bar and within minutes I was feeling so much better.
I am happy to report that although I ate the energy bar our of necessity I kept to my no sugar goals the rest of the weekend. I haven't had any cravings, though I am currently quite sick. This time no fainting scares but pretty sure that I do have the flu that the rest of the family had last week. Too bad an energy bar won't do the trick this time. I started shivering like mad just before bed last night and spent one miserable night waking up every half hour either freezing or smoking hot.
I don't know what I am doing sitting up typing right now. I really need to go to bed. Marcus can watch PBS all day.