One long week in a full house

Here's what I've done in the last week:

Deep cleaned/organized my basement.

Painted all the walls in my formerly chocolate bedroom. Now they are a sky blue.

Painted two closets. 

Painted every inch of trim in this house and every door.

. . . . And so many other random projects on The List. 

My kids have been walking around all week, hearing Mom holler, "Don't touch that! It has paint on it!"

It has been consuming and it feels so good to be getting everything crossed off knowing that our house is ready to go on the market. Work always exhilarates me. I keep trying to pass this on to my kids so they can enjoy it as much as me but . . . well, maybe someday.

I have gotten tons done and really deserve some gratitude. I am superwoman. Taking care of all these kids out of school for a week and getting all this done at the same time.

Yet,

My kids would tell you quite differently. They would tell you that they have wasted their entire early spring break. They would tell you that all Mom cares about is work and that she never lets them do anything. Savannah would also throw in that she never makes anything for breakfast, lunch or dinner without throwing wheat, apples, spinach or something else disgusting into it and ruining it.

So instead of patting myself on the back, I feel like I deserve the lousy mother award. Every night this week I have told myself that tomorrow it's gonna be a play day. It will be all about the kids and I'll put everything else on hold. I don't think it is about going somewhere. It's just a mentality that needs to switch.

But here it is Friday and I still haven't relaxed and spent one whole day focused on having fun with my children all this week.  I am the first one up as usual today. I  have a burst of energy first thing every morning.  So I jump into work mode and then I can't switch it off until dinner and dishes are done. After which I crash and am good for nothing until morning. Not even playing games or watching movies with kids usually- I literally can't keep my eyes open once I stop and it's after 7.

So now you know my dirty little secret.

But today I am making a commitment to close my eyes to the mess building around me and enjoy the day doing what the kids like to do.

Do you think I can do it? Can I actually build blanket forts in my living room, have tea parties, play in the snow (brrrrh) and not think about my list?

. . . or the new one that is being created as we neglect the house for one day?

For me, this is why being a mother is the hardest job in the world. You are trying to do it all and be the perfect mother. And in the meantime you find that you are not the mother that you wanted to be at all.