My day

This morning
. . . I was Playing around with colors , titles, and templates. (which is a lot of fun btw) It all started with Marcus ruining the past blog name, "5 buffalo gals and their future dentist" (which I liked a lot btw). Still haven't hit on The One yet. (Savannah just noticed the change and told me it's embarrassing and she hates it. And then she noticed this comment and . . . that's even more embarrassing)

This afternoon
. . . Marcus weighed 10 lbs. 1 oz at his 3 week checkup (which is more than the average weight gain). He also has a cold. The Doc said to stop bringing him out into large crowds. So we are back to hibernating for the next 2-3 weeks.

Tonight
. . . just wondering where another day went. I keep tring to find time to finish the new drywall Brent hung up but first I need to manage simple chores like getting the laundry out of the baskets.

Millions!

We didn't get any easter pictures this year, but honestly I don't think it's a big deal. I wasn't as organized as other easter's. No new dresses for the girls, and no bunny ears for our baby bunny either so there wasn't much to photograph anyway.

Not to mention that Easter here usually means snow and thus indoor egg hunts. So no chance catching the kids tiptoeing through the tulips discovering eggs.

During dinner Saturday night the girls started pestering us to have our egg hunt before bed that night.

Savannah's argument was brilliant,
"If we do it tonight then tomorrow we can just celebrate the true meaning of easter."

How could we argue with that?

We decided to go ahead with it and maybe they could have most of the candy gone by dinner the next day and would eat their vegetables. So at 7:30 when we should have been giving children baths, brushing teeth, and putting them to bed we were down hiding eggs throughout the downstairs while the kids waited anxiously upstairs. I think this is the first year we haven't at least alluded to an easter bunny.

Last year I was in big trouble because I only chose two different candies and one of them was strawberry whoppers. Yuck! - they really ruined easter. This time I had lots of expensive tasty stuff. By 8:30 the girls had found all of their eggs after lots of hunting and hinting. And somehow we were able to tear them away from their candy and calm them down enough to get them to bed by 9 p.m.

Easter Sunday was the first Sunday back to church with the whole family. Brent and I came early and sang with the ward choir. It was a good meeting. We all really love our ward. Later on that day we went to have Easter dinner with a family in our stake that I won't mention so we don't spoil their future fun. Dinner was wonderful and we had a great family discussion afterwards and shared our feelings about Easter.

So far we had been extremely successful about devoting the day to celebrating the "true meaning of Easter" as had been our daughter's greatest wish the night before. But at this point things got a little more exciting as we joined them in their family's traditional game for the holiday.

We were all handed a brown bag and then the hostess started passing around a large basket filled with plastic eggs. Everyone opens their egg, shows everyone what they get, then you dump the egg out in your bag.

I went first and got . . Chocolate. Brent several turns later shook his and we all heard some coins. . . $.75 cents. Then Savannah found a dollar. Next turn around . . $20 dollar bill! Then Camille found her own $20. When Brent pulled out a golden egg and hit the jackpot. . . $50 dollar bill we were all laughing hysterically in disbelief! The easter bunny doesn't leave anything but candy at our house and sometimes an easter dress if I thought to catch the after easter sale the year before. I continued to get pure chocolate as did all the other people playing the game which included an older single guy, and two other graduate student couples. Caroline was running all over the room boucing off the walls with joy showing everyone the $1 dollar bill and the handful of pennies she had found, hollering,"Did I win? Did I win?"

My family took home over $100 dollars. It was an Easter like no other. There is nothing like someone handing you free money to bring a huge smile to your face. Along with the leftover pot roast, hordes of chocolat, and the cash, they also gave us a video, "Millions", to watch with the family. We watched the movie the next morning since Brent and the kids were still off from school.

It was actually a story about two young boys who find a bag filled with tons of money and how it almost ruins their family's lives. It ends with the younger boy taking it out in the middle of the night and burning it. Strangely later that afternoon I was starting to feel somewhat like we were living in the movie.

First of all:

Camille was driving me insane since the moment we got up wanting me to drive her to the mall to spend it, looking online bawling about how she didn't know what to buy, and just falling apart demanding that I give her ideas.

Savannah on the other hand was feeling No Where Near as generous as the day before. She had found $32 and Kennon only $1 in her eggs. Right after the game Savannah had handed Kennon her $10 dollar bill. But by Monday afternoon they were fighting again and Savannah was demanding the $10 back.

Caroline had lost her money and was accusing me of stealing it.

Kennon was keeping a tight hold on HER cool ten bucks.

By evening I had threatened to go burn the cash just like the movie so I could get my happy family back. It doesn't take millions to bring out the greed in this family.

Warning: If you live in the same city as I do this post is going to make you start scratching your head

Probably the worst things we faced when we moved to this city was living near people who are frequently infected with head lice. I don't know if it is all big cities or just this one, but we had only been in the ward a couple weeks when it was discovered that one of the dental student wives who teaches primary had caught it from a sunbeam. The whole primary was checked and a couple more kids were sent home. Several times that first year we spent primary hour going through the kids and teacher's hair. Some families when they were sent home didn't come back for several months. They complained that all the kids in their neighborhood had it so even if they picked it all out of their kids hair they were just going to get it again. To them it was hopeless, and they had just determined that they could live with it, "So we couldn't we all just get over it and let them come back?"

NOOO!

Both Savannah and Kennon have a couple kids in their class who are constantly being sent home with lice. The nurses have flagged kids and check them routinely. They all are from the same neighborhood -a government project. Kennon said kids will just dissappear after they are selected to visit the school nurse and then you won't see them for several days. No one announces anything but everyone knows . . .because they also send a note home warning parents that there is a head lice case in their class. Savannah said one time they had a substitute who didn't know the rules though. After getting a report from the nurse she announced, "Mary has head lice! Who in here plays with Mary?"

A year ago in February we attended a 2nd grade play at the school. One of the"flagged" students, a cute little girl with long blond hair had been assigned to stand next to Savannah for the play. To my horror, in several scenes they posed back to back intertwining the blond hair. Now that is a an excellent way to share the lice!

As soon as we got home we started in checking Savannah's head. Now that we mentioned it she said that her head had been really itchy lately. It didn't take long to have our fears confirmed. At 9:30 Brent ran out to buy lice shampoo, sprays, etc. I and continued to find lots of nits(eggs) and one very LARGE bug. I really shouldn't have started screaming when I saw it- but it was so much bigger than I thought it would be! Getting hysterical was a bad move. Now Savannah was terrorized and screaming too.

Well . . . we found HUNDREDS of nits and lots of red bites on her head. For three days I did nothing but let them watch movies while I picked new nits out of Savannah's hair and drowned them. Head lice shampoo isn't enough. It doesn't kill every single one and they will have laid dozens more eggs in just a few hours. I continued to inspect all her sisters too. Caroline was the only one with anything and it was so easy to spot since she was 2 and still hardly had any hair. I found two nits and a tiny bug.

The really sad part was 2 weeks before this discovery Brent's sister Lisa had visited us with her daughter Katie from Washington. Savannah and Katie had slept together in the same bed one night. Along with the school, I called Lisa first thing in the morning to share the bad news. To make a long story short, Katie did have head lice, they couldn't get rid of it for several weeks after that, and that is our last Casper visitor since. We on the other hand beat the lice in a three days and I continue to check them everytime they sit next to me. It was so gross but not hard to get rid of at all if you make it #1 priority for 3 days. Definitely not as big of deal as some ward members had made it seem.

Well. . .Last weekend we had a sleepover. Kennon was finally allowed to have over her best friend. What was I thinking?

At the beginning of February Kennon had wanted to have her over for her birthday party but just days before she was sent home from school because of head lice. Now almost 2 months later Kennon assured me that they hadn't taken her to the nurses forever so she was totally clear of lice. When she first showed up both Brent and I were dying to have a lice check but knew that would seem pretty rude. So we didn't and she spent the night. (in Savannah's bed). The whole time she was here I was a little uneasy and made sure to wash all the bedding the next morning.

Tuesday night we were talking to the older girls in their room and suddenly Kennon said that she wanted to tell us something but she was too afraid because her mother was going to be so mad. Finally she fessed up that her friend had been sent home Monday with head lice!!

So we are spending Brent's spring break doing frequent head lice checks (SO FAR NOTHING)and are pretty determined to not allow any more sleepovers until we get back to the SAFE ZONE- WASHINGTON.

Worth Every Penny Of It!

The cost of this little gem was well worth getting Kashann, all the girls, the NY state police, and just about everyone I know off my back. I guess the constant pressure worked. I have to admit though that not having Kennon or Savannah in my right armpit while I drive is pretty nice. I'm sure they'll agree.

We forgot all about one of Camille's christmas presents (I had put it out behind the shed) until the snow melted off of it the other day (the bike). She was so excited to learn to ride that she kept Brent Huffing and Puffing up and down our street for an hour.

With other kids we have had constant screaming during the lessons. Camille couldn't stop laughing even when she went down and was constantly begging to let go of her.

Later that night she continued her display of bravery when she insisted on having a tooth pulled out by her Dad. She has been trying on her own with floss for a couple of weeks now. Judging by all the blood that came with it, it could have stayed in her mouth a couple more.

Scabface

Caroline was out enjoying the 60 degree weather the other day. She forgot how to run on the pavement over the long winter and paid the price for her absentmindedness.








(I am plugging this stuff in here just to put it somewhere. It used to be in the side of the blog but I can't keep up with it and it's getting to long SO here's. . .

SOMETHING TO BRAG ABOUT)

WEEK of MARCH 23, 2008Brent knocks out the 70 year old wall upstairs and gets a little closer to finishing his 2007 christmas present for his wife. Kashann cleans it up. We are ONE big step closer to having a 4 bedroom house.

WEEK of FEB 24, 2008 On Sunday, Camille, gave the 20th primary talk for our family since moving into the ward last year. That might be a slight exaggeration, but not much. It's a small primary, my kids are always present, and always choose talk instead of scripture when their name is pulled from the mailbox.(They actually let them choose!) Glad that they like the spotlight, but more glad that Kennon and Savannah finally started writing their own. And now Caroline is a sunbeam, we really are going to dominate opening exercizes.

WEEK of FEB 3, 2008 Sat the 9th, the big kids are all sick in bed -Kennon, Brent, and even Mom (you know the one who never catches anything.) So Savannah stepped up to babysit and wash dishes all day. Hooray for our 8 year old!
We now have ten year old! Hard to believe. Kennon's birthday present this year was a music stand so she can officially put on violin concerts for her family. She was so excited! We are very proud of her dedication to her music. It is such a great avenue to curb her boredness, which can result in household mischief. If only she could play the piano/violin all the time, we would have such peace in our home.

WEEK of JAN 13, 2008 Kennon, our new violist, just made it into the school orchestra. She was the only one admitted to the orchestra in her whole class. Way to go! All that practicing has paid off!And Caroline wins the Bravery Challenge. On Saturday sledding at Chestnut Ridge Park -In the FREEEEZING cold blowing snow. We had just arrived when suddenly I saw Caroline jump in her sled and off down the hill, gaining speed. I was scared to death for my usually very cautious little baby. She obviously didn't notice the large hill in front of her and thought she could sled down anything, since she often "sleds" in our backyard on piles of snow. Amazingly she hung on all the way to the bottom, and pulled her sled back up to the top with all the other bigger kids, beaming with pride.

If Only.....

The day before the birth, at Children's Hospital, they sent me home because I wasn't in enough pain yet. When "it" really happened the next day there was no time or patience for posed shots like these. If only they had kept me then and saved me a heck of a lot of pain and anguish.

9 months

I realized that I had neglected to post a full body prego shot. Here I am 4 days before Marcus was born. Brent and I were heading out for our last date.

Today at church

I know I have mentioned this before but here is just another example of how valuable our children are to our ward's primary.

March 16th Primary Opening Exercizes
Opening Prayer: Savannah C
Scripture: Camille C
Talk: Kennon C

These are the actual minutes from their meeting this morning. Brent was there and witnessed it. He said there were at least 30 other kids there today, but I guess we are just really special.

Brent is now ready to "look"

Brent began his spring break picking up Savannah and Kennon's friends for a sleepover Friday night. We hate sleepovers but had put them off for so long we finally agreed. It wasn't the greatest way to start springbreak but we figured we would get it over with and then could do some relaxing ourselves. We made them homemade pizza and then took Camille, Caroline, and Marcus upstairs to our room for bed and let the 4 girls have the rest of the house for their sleepover party. We turned a fan on in our room and hardly heard a thing the rest of the night.

Marcus woke up our whole bedroom about 4:30 a.m. and our day had begun. We were all stuck in our room though since the partiers had taken over the rest of our tiny house. There was nothing to watch on TV that early for kids so we just kind of hung out for another hour or so till the first cartoon of the morning, "Power Rangers" came on. Not very entertaining for any of us.

Brent finally got out the mac and started looking up motorcycles, again. Eventually I saw him move to the auto site. (One of the top items on my agenda for his springbreak is to find us a car) By three in the afternoon he had a few he was "ready" to go look at. He didn't want to take me because the last time he took me car shopping at a dealership we left his prize Toyota Supra behind and came home with a $18 thousand car I spotted in the lot. Even though that Mazda has been a great car, he has complained about giving up the Supra and that he got "took" ever since". So, I said, "Fine, I won't come" . . . "But who's gonna drive home the Buick?"

That's exactly why he didn't want me to come but I assured him that I was just kidding. He finally agreed to take me along if I promised to not say a word to the salesman.

Caroline and Marcus came along on our car shopping date. We couldn't fit the rest of them. Plus the last time we looked at a van, the girls cried and complained most of the way home at us even though it had been a rusty p.o.j minivan. They are as bad as me I guess.

The first stop was a dealership in Williamsville where Brent had seen a 2001 Odysee advertized. As we began the tour Brent mentioned to the dealer that we were just in the "looking phase" and were in "NO URGENCY" to get anything right now. ?? I had the hardest time keeping still. Had I been allowed I would've said the exact opposite.

"We aren't leaving here with out a minivan . We are here to BUY and there is a very URGENT need!"
(Currently I am sitting home from church for several reasons -Avoiding assuming my responsibilities again, Still recovering, Caroline's fever, BUT not the least of excuses is that my family is too large for our car.)

When we were shown a 2007 Seinna I let Caroline climb in. She got herself buckled and thought the deal was settled. That was about when we left and headed back to our Buick. As soon as we opened her door for her Caroline was confused and upset, protesting, "No, I don't want this car!'

We stopped at a couple other places, but I just mainly stayed in the car after that. I am not really into the "looking phase" only into the "Buying!"

Church meetings were canceled Sunday March 9th due to the snow. Kennon set up, presided, gave the talks, conducted the music, and insisted on all of us dressing up. Brent didn't comply. He just has a hard time taking those scrubs off since they are so dual purpose for schooling/sleeping. Once in a while we coax him out of them and into the shower.

Marcus got to wear his Sunday best. Dad protested that "He isn't your doll" but then enjoyed seeing him out of his sleeper and in a little man outfit for the first time.

Adjusting to one more

When I had my fourth child, it was an adjustment. Everywhere we went we stuck out as a big family. And it definitely seemed like my life had just gotten crazier.

Now suddenly with 5, I can't even tell the difference. You get to a point when you have a lot of children where you just can't get any crazier/louder or more of a novelty to the NY public than you already are.

Mornings and afternoons this week have been bliss with Caroline my PBS Kids addict, and Marcus and I. Then at 3 p.m. the bus pulls onto our street and the craziness begins. We usually have piano/violin, homework, jump roping(the new craze around my house ever since I rented, "Jump in", a movie with a star from HS Musical in it), and story reading all going on at once for the next couple hours. I just want to plug the little guys ears. But maybe he got used to it slowly over the last 9 months because he doesn't seem to mind.

But the thing is my mom is gone and I am on my own with five kids for the first time. Brent has gotten home late every night and I have been coping fine. No nervous breakdowns anyway. My one complaint has to do with something my mom referred to as nursing endorphins. She says while nursing you release endorphins to help you relax and enjoy your baby. The problem is that the endorphin effect makes it almost impossible to put down that sweet sleeping babe on your shoulder and get up off the couch. Every couple hours I am wanting to crawl back into bed. I thought I remember in past years sitting on the couch feeding the baby, going insane as I looked at the chaos around me. I would notice a crooked picture frame on the wall, dust on the piano, a cheerio under the table, and I was dying to be done with the kid so I could get up and remedy these situations. I was too nervous to let the endorphins take over, I suppose.

Maybe it's because #5 is really it and I am just happy to sit here and savor. So I am chillin'. And it makes me feel like way better mom. Instead of scurrying around all afternoon being busy, I am on the couch right in the middle of all the action. We have gotten a lot of chatting in . Problem is, I'm concerned how this whole new chatting and chilling mom thing is going to help me loose the couple or so more pounds that I need to.

I am kidding!! , not bragging, btw. Two daughter comments to demonstrate the state of my figure:

Kennon (the day I came home) "You still look pregnant!"
Camille (last night started drumming on my flabby tummy, then in all sincerity and hopefullness) "Mom are you pregnant again?"

And it doesn't help that Steph Cundick dropped by yesterday, obviously unaware that I am a sugar addict, and brought me a large loaf of coconut bread that is to die for, and a whole pan of the yummiest chocolate carmel bars I have ever tasted. I CAN'T STOP!

Hello and Goodbye Grandma

My mother was here Sunday afternoon thru early Wednesday morning . It was a quick trip, but she was kept busy making me Tai food, telling them tons of bedtime stories, hosting a pink tea party, making sugar cookies, doing our laundry and dishes, and rotating bedrooms every night so every girl had a chance to sleep with Grandma. When it came time for goodbye Tuesday night Camille especially was upset.

Meet our Son Marcus William 8lbs. 14 oz Born March 4, 2008

This is what we were doing 5 hours after the previous post.
1:00 p.m Kashann notifies Brent that this is probably the real thing but "Stay in class until you let out at 5 because I am going to be doing early labor at home, and you will make me nervous" (even though I was currently having hard contractions 2 - 5 min apart and keep in mind Marcus would have been born by then).
2:00 Brent calls me and says "I am coming home early" Kashann- "Okay, that's probably a good idea."
2:30 Kashann has left 3 crying messages on Brent's cell phone. "Where are you? Get home Now!"
2:50 Brent comes home with burgers for him but wonders what the kids are going to eat. He leaves for Chinese takeout for them.
3:05 Brent and all the kids come home on the bus. They are mauling me, and luckily Brent runs in and gets them to back off their mother almost crying on the couch.
3:10 Kashann makes a mad dash to the car. IT'S LOCKED! I lean against the car with a contraction until my safety conscious husband gets out there and lets me in.
3:15 My seat is stuck and won't recline, so I am stuck straight up the whole way. Brent cracks a joke during a serious contraction, "Do you want me to turn on some rock'n'roll to contract to?" I could have murdered him but have to wait thirty more seconds to tell him to shut up.
3:35 We arrive at Buffalo Women's and Children's Labor and Delivery on the 3rd floor after a crowded elevator ride. I lean against the wall while Brent kindly tells them his wife needs to get in NOW! They tell him to "wait his turn, we are third in line for check in, and fill out this paperwork."
3:40 Kashannn starts to lay down on the filthy waiting room floor. They suddenly have a free bed.

3:45 Lying on a stretcher I am examined by a family resident Dr. in a black turban doing a rotation this week in labor and delivery. He thinks I am in "early labor." You are suppossed to be having this pain in your stomach during contractions" and I am screaming about my rear end. He told us more than once that this was probably false labor because the pain wasn't in the stomach. Brent assured him this was the real thing. I am demanding pain med and a Dr to break my water now!

This goes on until 4:30 with papers being shoved in my face, an endless stream of questions I am physically unable to answer, and no real Dr. coming in and checking me.

4:30 I am in the middle of the most horrible contraction ever and Brent and I hear a huge explosion. I scream- "Brent I just wet the bed" "No, Kashann, that was your water". NOW the Dr's and nurses coming running in and declare me fully dialated. I am wheeled into the OR immediately, where I am asked to move myself to a new bed where I will deliver. HA! Like I could possibly do that. I muster everything I can and move beds. Then demand that they do an episitomy. Do they listen? No. Less than 5 min later, after a tear, at 4:37 p.m. our 8 lb. 14 oz Marcus William is born after the worst experience of my life. I can't believe that I am not dead and am still alive to see my son.
Now they come in with the pain med in an IV. Where was it a half hour ago? I don't want it now! They insist and within an hour of hooking up I am throwing up like I always do from IV pain medication. Finally at 10 pm. I convinced them to unhook it and I am almost instantly better.
Brent meanwhile is long gone, home with the kids studying for a big exam the next day.

By 3 a.m. Marcus is in the NICU. They did two blood tests and found that he had increasingly elevated white cell count 3 times. By noon the next day he has another bad looking blood test so they are treating him for a possible infection and even talk of a spinal tap to see if there is infection in his brain. I hate seeing him with an IV in his head. Everytime I pick him up I have to bring about 4 cords along with me to hold him. My mom calls for a multi-family prayer and I really feel peaceful that he is going to be just fine.

I go home on Thursday without my baby! It is so sad. The next morning I am back at NICU to be with him. By 10 a.m the results for the cultures are back and he is cleared of any concerns for his health. I collect all my stuff and baby and head out by myself in a huge snowstorm to bring him home. The kids have just gotten off the bus when I walk in. They haven't seen their brother yet and have been crying about it since Tuesday night. These pictures are of them seeing their brother for the first time. At the same time I got there a girl from the ward (Stephanie Tranquil) has shown up with tons of food from ward members. She snapped these happy shots.

This other picture is Caroline and Camille displaying Marcus's new blanket I sewed for him.

We have had a great time the last couple days. Everyone wants to hold Marcus and everytime he cries Kennon, Savannah, and Camille stop whatever they are doing and race off to take care of him. I hope it lasts. It is awesome.

I am so glad it is over. I really don't think I could go through this again. I would not recommend laboring at home to anyone. A mad dash is horrible. I have to say it didn't take more than a minute of holding him to make it all worth it though. I love having Brent's son.

No baby. . . But I am being a baby

We had a wonderful time with my dad last weekend. The girls were all asleep by the time we brought him home at 9:30 Friday night so we leaned over them one by one and had them wake up to a Grandpa smiling at them. Dad said the first thing they would say though is, "Where's Grandma?" That's exactly what happened.

Dad was really shocked about the cold Friday night. He was wearing a very thin coat. He didn't complain about the 60 degree temp in our house, but he never took his coat off once indoors so I know that he was going through culture shock. At their bed and breakfast they have to keep it nice and toasty. Mom's cooking all the time and there is a fireplace in every single room!

We went to N. Tonawanda on Saturday to visit the Riviera Theatre (built in 1927) to see, "Enchanted". We all loved it. On saturdays they show kids movies for $2. Afterwards, my dad, who is known for making quick friends, stopped to chat to the popcorn man. He invited us for a personal tour upstairs in the balcony. It is a beautiful old theatre and I would recommend anyone in the area to visit it with their children. Get there a half hour early and listen to an old guy play showtunes on the organ until showtime.

The rest of the time we just hung out. Mainly because I was having contractions and kept thinking we would be going to the hospital at anytime. YOU CAN SKIP THE NEXT PART IF YOU DON"T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THINGS LIKE DIALATING AND EFFACING AND CRYING.

In past pregnancies I have never had any contractions until 24 hours before the baby comes out and they just keep increasing until they are close and painful. Then I go to the hospital, I am always dialated to a 4, they break my water, I start hurting, and we have a baby in a few hours. So that was the plan.

But then Sunday afternoon they just stopped. By 9:30 p.m they started up again, though fast and furious. I packed, showered, fixed my hair to look great for the labor shots, got all organized then went to bed hoping to sleep a few hours. I could not till about 2 a.m. because I was having contraction on top of contraction. I wanted Brent to get some rest before we left so I just laying there not in too much pain, but going crazy.

Finally I guess I fell asleep because I woke up at 6 a.m. and was surprised they had stopped. At this point I am just beginning to feel strung around with this impending delivery. But by 7 they had started again. I wanted to wait for a while and see what happened. But Brent was anxious to get it overwith. It was Monday and all weekend long he said that he absolutely couldn't miss tues, wed, or thursday. So we had to do this now!

We dropped off Caroline at a friends, Dad at the airport and then got to the hospital by 9:30 a.m. When they checked me I was a little discouraged because I was only a 4 like usual and 60 % effaced. But I was having contractions still and told them, "Just break my water and we'll have the baby soon."
Don't you think I should be calling some of the shots since I am a pro at this going on my fifth labor?

Unfortantely that was not going to happen. My OB office is the University GYN practice. I had residents there training on me and they were determined to do everything by the book. (It was just like getting a cavity filled at the dental school) You lay there forever while someone who doesn't know what he is doing learns on you then has to keep having the Dr. come check everything they did. They said that they would break my water but not till a week after my due date. I was so mad and frusterated I just started bawling right there in the hospital and the whole way out to the car. And that's pretty much what I did all the rest of the day. I just couldn't believe it last night that I was home doing laundry, mopping floors, cooking dinner. I was suppossed to be holding my baby by now! But maybe they were right because the contractions completely stopped by night time and I slept wonderfully all night.

This morning I am currently having painful very far apart contractions and just wondering how long this is going to go on. They are really starting to hurt, but I am afraid that doesn't mean I am dialating. Are they seriously going to make me go on like this for another week and a half before they help me get it overwith?

The phone kept ringing yesterday, and I never got it. All very cheery people leaving messages, wondering if I now had 5 children instead of 4 and I just couldn't talk to anyone.

To top off my day, My mother in law called during dinner and the kids got it and handed it to me. She said, "Guess what I have great news, Brianne and Derek just had their baby." She is my niece due three weeks AFTER me! I told her that was the last thing that I wanted to hear right now.

I know that I am just being a baby. Everything is fine, and I should just be grateful that the baby and I are healthy and it will all be over soon, but all I am is depressed and so frusterated. It is really hard to be stuck with an associated practice with lots of Dr's I have never even met, no one even knows me and I am sure that they could care less if I am home stressing, in pain, or if I won't ever go into labor until they break my water. I wish I was still in Washington with my old doctor. Yesterday he would have smiled at me, rubbed my back, told me how great I was doing, and assured me that they were going to do everything they could so I could have my baby that night.